Summer Thus Far...

We are half-way into July, folks. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly time seems to fly.

This summer has been NOTHING like I expected, and that is a great thing. I have realized something very important: attitude is everything.

I had in my head that after last summer, I was ready to just embark on the next part of my journey right after I graduated. It was time to jump full force into the ministry that I feel so called to go into (or so I thought). After God told me no about Memphis, I felt so lost and confused. I had never in my wildest dreams thought I would come back to Wichita, but let me just say how thankful I am for the time I have had here.

This summer has been a summer of restoration, healing, essential time, and rest. I had no idea what amazing things the Lord had in store for me, and there is still some time left to enjoy why He had me come home.

It has been absolutely wonderful to spend this time with my family. I have learned how precious and sacred that is, and I never wish to take advantage of that again. I have also gotten to spend time with a friend I have known for many, many years. She has always held a special place in my heart (as has her entire family), but I never fully appreciated our friendship until this summer. She is one of those people that will be a part of my life for the rest of it, and I am very thankful for that. It is amazing how God knows what we need way better than we know ourselves.

I needed this summer, and I didn't even know it.

My heart always aches for the friends that are far away. My friend from Romania told me today that she is getting ready to have a baby!!! I could not be more excited for her. It has been almost four months since I last hugged Roxana, and I do not know when I will get a chance to see her again or that beautiful child she is going to bring into the world. However, I could not be more thankful to have gotten the chance to meet her. Whenever I think of Romania, I also think back to the wonderful friendship I found in a team member from Valley Forge that was with us that week. She and I still get to talk often, and I am thankful for great connections even after only spending a week together. God is good.

And as always, I often think back fondly on Evangel. Even though it was only a couple months ago that I walked that line and received my degree, it feels like ages ago. I miss my friends from there terribly. However, it's amazing how much God has blessed and grown these friendships in spite of the distance and time apart. I could not feel more blessed or more thankful.

I just received news that I PASSED MY CREDENTIALING EXAM!!!! Wahoo!!! The next (and I do believe final) step is the interview. I cannot believe that this process in my life is finally happening. I have dreamed of being a pastor for so long that this feels almost surreal. This is a calling I take with the highest respect and responsibility and feel so unworthy of this great honor.

I also get to go to Bartlesville, OK this weekend to meet the church and staff of Abundant Life Church and discuss their children's pastor position! I am anxiously awaiting the Lord's direction and cannot wait to see where He leads.

So, in a nutshell, life is nothing like I expected it to be, but I am so thankful that I have a God who knows better than I what I need. I feel refreshed and charged after a very emotional last few months before school ended. Evangel and my friends are very much in my heart, and I cannot wait to see where God leads us all. I am thankful that distance does not have to determine the closeness and strength of a relationship. In fact, I am happy that it has made them stronger.

So here I am...blessed and thankful and continually reveling in the greatness of God's plan.

Love you guys.

In Him,
Em

To You

To You:

Who never quit believing in my potential in spite of all of my many flaws.
Who listens with open ears and open arms.
Who laughs with me and cries with me.
Who doesn't judge me based on who I was but is proud of who I am becoming.
Who laughs at every awkward and ridiculous moment I have ever had.
Who rejoices with me even in the little things.
Who understands me better than I sometimes understand myself.
Who has had a serious investment in my life.
Who has grown with me and watched me grow over the past several years.
Who has helped me overcome so many of my fears.
Who has been honest with me even if it was hard.
Who has not been afraid to challenge me to not settle or merely get by.
Who has taught me the importance of perseverance.
Who has listened to me talk about my heart for kids and women.
Who has taught me to be patient.
Who has taught me to love unconditionally.
Who has shown me the importance of God as my source and no one else.
Who has merely been.

Thank you. There are so many more that I could add to this list, but I think you get the gist. I have been blessed beyond measure with some of the most wonderful and Godly friends I could have ever imagined. This past week has really reminded me of that. I am thankful to each and every one of you who has walked this journey of life with me whether it be for a little part or large. God has shown me His love through so many of you, and you have been some of the greatest hands and feet I have ever known. Thank you for taking the time to believe in me. Know that I will always, always believe in you.

These past few weeks have also been exciting in that two of my dear friends have gotten engaged:

Alina is my best friend and sister even if not by blood. We have been through thick and thin together for the past 4 years, and her life is such a blessing. She just got engaged to a pretty awesome guy named Jonathan, and I cannot wait to see how God uses and blesses their marriage. I feel honored and privileged that I get to share in their special day. In all honesty, if Alina hadn't allowed God to use her in the way that she had, I would not be the young lady that I am today. I am thankful to the Lord for the incredible gift she is and am so excited to see the start of her and Jonathan's life together. Words cannot adequately express all that this wonderful person means to me.

Amy has been one of my closest friends in college. She laughs with me at anything and everything no matter how absolutely dumb it is. Her love of sweet tea and her appreciation of Elvis are two of the things we share in common (along with an unhealthy love of the caffeinated beverage known as coffee). She is getting ready to marry Daniel, and I could honestly not be more excited for them. The happiness she has is contagious, and I also cannot wait to share in their special day. I'm excited to give her one giant hug.

I encourage you to look around you (and not just in close proximity) to the people that God has blessed your life with. Relationships are gifts and gifts that should not be taken lightly. There are so many people in my life that have blessed me tremendously, and to you, know that you have made the difference. God used you in making me who I am today, and I want you to know that I will never forget that. Some of you I have only known for 6 months to a year, others a couple years or more, and others my whole life (love you family!). However, I am beyond thankful for the gift you have been in my life.

So to you, thank you. I appreciate and love you more than you will ever know.

Waiting

Transition...waiting...stuff I am not necessarily very good at.

I'm in Wichita, KS for a reason, and I have discovered what part of this reason is. As I have been surrounded with some amazing people once again, I remember why I love them as much as I do. It's amazing how much God provides even when you're not expecting it.

My heart does miss my Evangel friends, and I know that it will. This was such a special time to me, but I am in eager anticipation of discovering the meaning in my transition. I know that many of these friendships will go with me for the rest of my life.

Kansas. The state that is flatter than flat. However, God has blessed us with some pretty remarkable sunsets. As I walk the neighborhoods at sunset, I feel as though God reminds me that His beauty is everywhere...in every moment. I have started going on walks at sunset, and it is one of the most calming and enjoyable experiences. As much as I pick on the good 'ol sunflower state, God's beauty isn't just limited to places like the East Coast or Europe...His beauty is surrounding. You just have to be open to seeing it.

I have begun sending out applications and resumes, and some doors have already been shut in my face. But one of the many things that I appreciate the most about my relationship with the Lord is He is always pretty quick to tell me when one decision isn't the best for me...however, on the flip side, He has absolutely no problem making me wait for the right one. ;)

In this period of waiting, I have learned the absolute necessity of rest. I am such a busy body. I like being everywhere all the time without stopping. Sleep gets in the way of my social time. However, God has revealed Himself to me in ways that I don't think I would've been so aware of walking around like a zombie. So as I sit in waiting, I get to enjoy the people that God has put around me here (while still getting to talk to so many of those that I love that are not) and marvel at His greatness and beauty in a state that many people just look over. No, I don't want to live here for the rest of my life, but I know that God has something for me while I'm here, and I don't want to miss out just because I'm getting antsy to get out there and go.

Waiting is a time for growth and a time for opportunity, and I pray that I always keep this mind set. God does not keep us in waiting to punish us but to teach us the beauty of His grace and that He is indeed faithful. So as I wait for my next step, I wait with an open heart. I will not just bide time while I am here, but I will make the most of every God-given moment. I will see His beauty in all that life has to offer. I will treasure my moments.

I'm thankful that the Lord is letting me travel some in the upcoming weeks. He's letting my itchy feet get a little road under them. :)

However, as I wait, I am excited to learn.

Don't put God in a box. It's rather fun to let Him surprise you.

Love you guys.

In Him,
Em

Surging Ahead

Graduation has come and gone. I am officially a graduate of Evangel University. Weird.

Last week was definitely one of the most emotional experiences of my life: joy, sadness, excitement, anxiousness, etc. The spectrum was absolutely insane. However, I wouldn't change a moment of it for anything.

In this process, God has taught me rest...and rest in Him. This week has proved to be a constant reminder of His love and mercy in my life. As I've been at home and reflecting, peace has been ever present.

The past four years at Evangel are four years that I will treasure for the rest of my life. The friendships I have made and the lessons learned are absolutely irreplaceable. I am humbled by all that Evangel meant and will continue to mean. However, as one of my good friends so wonderfully reminded me, this is a time to go out in peace because God has not forgotten about me. His plans are absolutely and 100% perfect, and I cannot wait to see what those may be.

This week is application week. As I send out my resume to ministries all over the country and begin the process to apply for my credentials (Ah!!!!!!), I continue to surrender any and all plan. This is the most recklessly abandoned I have ever felt in my entire life, and it is kind of exciting. I have such joy and such eager anticipation for what my future holds.

As I am still awake at almost 2 in the morning, my mind races with possibilities - with dreams. My dreams for inner-city, women's ministry, children, traveling and speaking, music, relationship building, being a wife and a mom, and so many others still burn a fire in my heart. As God continues to grow my passion for Him and His calling, I pray that I continually surrender my will to His. As I know He has made me a mega dreamer for a reason, it's kind of fun to sit and think about the puzzle pieces.

As I reflect on Evangel University, I am given a sense of hope. That was only a chapter, and what an amazing chapter it was. The rest of my story is full of so many more exciting adventures. I'm ready to start the rest of my life. Look out world. I'm ready to shake you up for Jesus.

Love you guys.

In Him,
Em

See You Later

The countdown is on...less than two weeks until graduation...oh my lanta...

I have begun to feel every last emotion under the sun: joy, sadness, excitement, wonder, etc. This week has been a lot of "lasts" for me. Tuesday I passed on my Crosswalk position. It was a wonderful evening even though a little difficult. I am officially no longer the Assistant Director of Children's Ministries, and that is kind of a strange concept for me. Two years of my life have been committed to this ministry and a wonderful group of people. I would not know nearly all of the people that I know without Crosswalk. What a blessing that God uses positions like these as great opportunities. It was also my last Children's Ministries get together. My team all signed a card for me and gave me various words of affirmation and encouragement. Yes, I cried. This should not be a surprise to anyone. While I am super excited for what God has for the future, it is hard to see this chapter come to a close.

Hangouts, balancing acts, treasuring moments...these are all just a few of the things I have in the upcoming two weeks. I am embracing every feeling.

Yesterday was Good Friday, and I could not be more thankful for the gift of the cross. Watching The Passion of the Christ again really just reminded me of how great a cost it really was. Wow. I am blessed that I got to watch this movie with friends for the past two years.

Friends. How great they are. As graduation nears, I have promised that I will never say "good-bye." I hate that phrase. HATE IT. I have never believed in good-byes, and I am definitely not planning on starting now. One of the many cool things about being Christians is that we get to spend all eternity with each other.

Instead of saying good-bye, I will tell each and every one of you see you later. Things shift. Things change. Time moves on. However, the people I have been privileged to meet in college are people that definitely have made their mark on my heart and my life. God blesses us everyday with opportunities, and Evangel has provided several.

Yeah, there will be tears. I am one of the biggest criers I know, and that is a-ok! Closing of chapters is never easy, but it is a necessary process of life. And with the closing of one begins a whole new and exciting other. For us seniors, life is just getting started, and I cannot wait to see where God takes each and every one of us.

So, to my dear Evangel friends, don't think this is the end. Technology is a wonderful blessing. I love you all more than words can say and am blessed by your friendship. As I hug you before we all depart, know one thing. I will definitely see you later.

Love you all,
Em

Unexpected Blessings

This past week has been nothing short of incredible. It has been amazing to see how God has worked in and through my life because I surrendered.

Let me just tell you all a little story.

So, I was given the absolute AMAZING opportunity to dine with the Board of Directors and the President of our campus this past Friday.

There's God doing that humbling thing again...

Well, I didn't exactly have anything super snazzy to wear to this thing, but I wanted to be impressive. It was such an amazing honor to get to go to this luncheon, and I wanted to look like I belonged there.

And it was in this that I was completely and totally blessed.

Being at Evangel has opened so many great doors for mentorship and relationship building. One of these great mentors has been my leadership professor, Dr. Alina Lehnert.

In discussing with her that I was eating with the Board and the President, she asked me what I was going to wear. I wondered this very same thing myself. She informed me that I needed a business suit and gave me a list of places to go. Once I found something, she asked that I put it on hold.

So, on Wednesday of this week, I went browsing. Once I hit JC Penny's, I found an awesome deal and a suit that worked well for what I needed. So doing what she asked, I placed it on hold.

Then the blessing took place.

The next day, she asked me to come to her office after class. Once we were both in there, she shut the door and pulled off the suit that I had put on hold.

She had bought it for me. It was exactly what I had needed, and she was there in that need.

Dr. Lehnert hugged me and told me how much she believes in me. Trying to choke back tears, I knew nothing else but to thank her (even though this seemed anything short of adequate.)

She invested in me. She believes in me. And now, I have a business suit. Not only that, but she blessed me with a dress.

It amazes me every day how God can put such wonderful people into your life to invest and believe in you. I don't think she fully realizes how much that meant to me, but it completely touched my heart. This is one of those circumstances that I will never forget. She told me that some day I would be able to buy some young lady a suit and that I could continue to pay it forward.

I cannot wait for that opportunity.

The luncheon went fantastically, and I was given even more incredible opportunities. In fact, I really can't wait to see where God takes me in some of these encounters. More to come. I'll keep ya posted. :)

God is so faithful, and I am learning how wonderful it is when we surrender our will to the will of the Father.

Love you guys.

In Him,
Em

A Change of Plans

As some of you know, I am no longer going back to Memphis for the summer.

Trust me. This shocked me too.



As I stood at the Black sea, God told me no. He told me no to every single plan I have ever had for the past 21 years of my life. And let me tell you...it has been completely liberating.

For the first time ever, I no longer have a plan. Of course, I still have my dreams and aspirations. I dream of being able to go back to Romania and doing ministry. I dream of seeing Roxana again. Being on the east coast would bring my heart so much joy. I would get to see Steph and many of my Evangel friends. (And I know I will see these people again.) However, it is not about my plan. It's about God's.

This feeling, while liberating, is also completely scary. As I send out applications this weekend and work on my resume, I can only sit and wait to see where God leads me next. The lesson I am learning is that God's plans turn out millions of times better than mine ever could or would.

So what is my plan right now? Surrender. God asked me to surrender every single plan I have to Him while I was in Romania. Let's be honest; He's been asking me to do this for years. It just took me awhile to listen. In Romania, I had absolutely no plan. I worked off of everyone else's. While I was the student leader, I completely took a back seat and watched as God worked wonders because I finally let go. As He opened doors and brought people into my life, I realized just how fun and exciting (even though sometimes challenging) His plans are.

God knows the desires of my heart because they are desires that He has given me. I have a desire to do ministry, in whatever capacity that may be.

So, no more Memphis. As hard as this decision is, I know it's the right one. As I sit at my desk, I can see the faces of my kids in the pictures on my wall. As I look at their faces, I know that they are no longer mine to watch over. They never have been. God chose to use me to minister into their lives, and I know He will send someone else in my place. I can always pray for them, and I always will. But it is time, in some sense, to let my babies go. They will always be my babies, but God is moving me in a new and exciting direction.

I am gearing up for the ride of my life. I will keep you posted as I know more. I'm trusting completely. I surrender my life to my Master's plan.

Love you guys,
Em