Therapeutic Rambling One Last Time

I cannot believe it has been over a year since I last posted on this blog. Life has kept rolling right on by, and so much has changed.

For those who do not know, I am now fortunate enough to get the opportunity to minister to a group of teenage girls on a very regular basis (considering I live right above them). I took a position at a Teen Challenge here in Kansas back in August, and it has honestly been such a God-ordained move. For so long I fought God on the call I knew He was giving me. You see, I did not want to do residential treatment because I wanted my own life. Working as much as I do does not really grant much time for dating (no, I am not seeing anyone), friends, or any other such activities. While I do get some social time, I live a very taxing life.

But this ministry has taught me something so unbelievably valuable - the beauty of being on my knees.

I struggle with perfectionism and have for a very long time. I want to get it done and get it done right the first time. In every job I've ever had, I have caught on very quickly. However, people are not an antiquated formula. They do not always possess logic or rationale. We, as humans, are filled with emotion and impulse. We rely on feeling instead of intellect and face the consequence of acting without thought. However, it is a beautiful gift to be able to invest in the lives of teenage girls and to pray for the wisdom and grace to help them discover their best selves. My counseling degree is in full force as I watch young women learn what it means to not only see Christ but choose him. The beauty of working for a Christian organization is that it allows me to point my kids entirely back to Christ. It has also taught me how much I've relied on myself throughout the years. Ministry has given me a whole new lens to see the world through, and that is the lens of true dependence on Christ. I have been a Christ-follower for most of my life, but it is in this season that I am seeing just how much I truly need him. Everything has come relatively easy, and working with people is anything but that. Perfectionism goes right out the window when dealing with imperfect people (including myself). But grace abounds all the more. Though this has been the most taxing job I have ever had, it has also been the most rewarding. I have watched young ladies choose Jesus (in fact, I got to lead one in a salvation prayer!!) and struggle with what it means to accept. I have laughed, and I have cried, but more importantly, I've seen small glimpses of the love our Savior has for each and every one of us. I am reminded of my own humanity and how fortunate I am to be covered in grace. No matter how many times I fall, God always has and always will pick me back up. I am learning more now than I ever thought possible, and that is a gift I will treasure for the rest of my life.

I am honestly not sure how often I will continue to use this blog as it feels like this chapter of my life has now come to a close. I will, however, continue to follow the pages God has penned for me. For those who have walked this journey with me (whether through word or in person), thank you. I am sure I will continue to find ways to share my thoughts with the world. But for now, I think my passionate ramblings on this particular site must come to an end. For every open ear and heart, thank you. You all mean more than you will ever know.

In Christ,
Em