This is it. I have returned to Evangel University for my Senior year in college. I cannot believe I have already been through three years in college. Where did the time go?? This was my final move into the dorms. For the last time, I hiked the flights of good 'ol Lewis hall with all my stuff that I have accumulated over the years.
I have returned the wonderful people and familiar faces I have grown so accustomed to. It's amazing how quickly things go right back to normal. It really does not feel like I haven't seen these people in four months. I guess that's when the Lord reminds me just how blessed I am to have some pretty stinking incredible friends.
Thoughts of Memphis and my kiddos still flood my head and my heart. I chose 65 pictures that I need to edit and print to stick on my walls. The ringworm I had has left a nice little scar on the top of my shoulder as a reminder of all that I learned this summer. I still see their smiles and hear their laughter and feel beyond blessed that God gave me this amazing opportunity to go outside of myself.
Yesterday I got a very wonderful opportunity to hang out with one of my dearest friends, Miss Laurisha Cotton. As we were catching up on life, we were discussing the arrangements of how we would see each other once graduation happened. It's in the near future, and that is something that is kind of completely scary. I got to have a Starbucks study date with Miss Amy Scott this afternoon and realized how much I treasure my time with each of these wonderful people.
I know everyone feels this way, but I am pretty stinking convinced taht I have the best friends in the entire world. God has seriously blessed me with such a great support network and not even all of them are in Springfield.
My futuristic tendency is to think about everything in the future like all the time, and I'm going to have to FORCE myself to not want to do that. This time is to be treasured, and I know I will never have another opportunity like this. I feel very thankful that I get this time to spend with some of the most wonderful people I have ever met.
With visions of Memphis driving me forward, I find motivation in knowing that I have truly found my purpose in life. My purpose is to love my heavenly Father with all that I have and to live my life accordingly. I know his hand is on my life, and I cannot wait to see where he takes me after this chapter closes. Until then, I'm gonna be living it up here on good 'ol Evangel University's campus!
Love you guys,
Em
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Beginning of Change
I wish I had enough words to describe what the past 2 1/2 months have meant to me. I wish I had enough pictures to capture the essence of the kids that I was so privelaged to work with every Monday thru Friday. I wish that I could hold each and every one of them every day of my life.
Everywhere I look, I see faces. Theirs. I see their smiles and hear their laughter and the excited screams when they see me at Bible Club site. And I find myself completely and utterly torn. The Lord always has a plan for everything, and in that I find complete peace and hope. However, it doesn't really change the longing I feel in my heart. My continual prayer was that the Lord would break my heart for what broke His. I sought to be His vessel, broken and poured out. I knew that it was on His strength that I was going to have the courage to do that which He asked of me this summer. And here I am. Completely and totally broken. My summer complete and my life completely transformed.
I have never felt more confident of my calling than I do now. I belong in the inner-city. The United States needs missionaries as well, and the Lord has called me to be one. One of the coolest experiences just happened to fall on my birthday. I turned 21 while in Memphis, and I wasn't quite sure just how exciting this birthday would be. However, the Lord never ceases to amaze. As we stood at club site, all 50 of my kids were huddled around me. In one large chorus, they all broke out into happy birthday and proceeded to dogpile me. There's nothing quite like 50 kids swarming you to make sure that you know how much you mean to them on your special day. My kids who have nothing made sure that my day was special. One of my little boys came to me with a cupcake saying, "Miss Emily, my grandma and I want you to have this since it's your birthday." They thought of me. Little old me. Here I am thinking my job is to minister to them, but they showed me Christ's love in a way that I have never seen before. That is because they are genuine.
These kids don't just smile to smile. If they're gonna smile, they're gonna mean it. But when they do smile, it is one of the most beautiful things you will ever see. Their hearts are being opened up, and God is pouring His love through them. My kids called me mom. I'm barely 21 and in no way, shape, or form ready to be a mom. However, to them, I was that woman. One of my girls introduced me to all of her friends as her momma. It opened my eyes. They wanted me to be that figure in their life more than anything and leaving them was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. Some told me they'd come find me in Kansas. Others begged me not to go. And it's those faces that I walk away with. It's the tears on their cheeks as I hugged them and promised them that I would never forget about them. I don't believe in goodbyes; I believe in see you laters. That is exactly what I told all of them.
I know none of it was me. It had nothing to do with me. I'm one person in this gigantic world. But God so blessed me with an opportunity to pour out His love on His children. And in return, they poured out His love on me. I just can't believe God let me be the one to get to do this. I am so humbled by this amazing opportunity and all that I am still learning from it. This time is a serious time of reflection, and I am already starting to see the change the Lord has began. My life is not about me. My life is about Him and them. I will be His hands and feet wherever He sends me. The cool thing about our God is that you know He still hears their cries. He hears them, He sees them, and He loves them so much more than I ever could. It was hard to leave but I know that they are in the Father's hands. It doesn't matter where I go, they will always be with me. They go with me in my heart and my thoughts. I think about them so much and realize that it was in their eyes that I saw love. My heart is broken for the poor and the oppressed and the needy. I will follow you Lord, into the world.
As more time goes on, I'm sure I will find more words to say. But here it is. Raw emotion with raw reflection. I am one person seeking to find my place in this world. Through Memphis, I feel one step closer. I am forever grateful for the kids I got to minister to and the friendships that I have made. That was another neat thing about Street Reach. I was surrounded with the same group of 18 people who were there for the exact thing I was. We were there to serve our Jesus. I am thankful for the ties I have made and cannot wait to see each of them again.
There is a song I challenge each of you to listen to. It's called Keep Changing the World by Mikeschair. It has revolutionized my world. I hope it can do the same for you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAtal8ZV6eo
For now, that is my rambling.
I love you guys,
Em
Everywhere I look, I see faces. Theirs. I see their smiles and hear their laughter and the excited screams when they see me at Bible Club site. And I find myself completely and utterly torn. The Lord always has a plan for everything, and in that I find complete peace and hope. However, it doesn't really change the longing I feel in my heart. My continual prayer was that the Lord would break my heart for what broke His. I sought to be His vessel, broken and poured out. I knew that it was on His strength that I was going to have the courage to do that which He asked of me this summer. And here I am. Completely and totally broken. My summer complete and my life completely transformed.
I have never felt more confident of my calling than I do now. I belong in the inner-city. The United States needs missionaries as well, and the Lord has called me to be one. One of the coolest experiences just happened to fall on my birthday. I turned 21 while in Memphis, and I wasn't quite sure just how exciting this birthday would be. However, the Lord never ceases to amaze. As we stood at club site, all 50 of my kids were huddled around me. In one large chorus, they all broke out into happy birthday and proceeded to dogpile me. There's nothing quite like 50 kids swarming you to make sure that you know how much you mean to them on your special day. My kids who have nothing made sure that my day was special. One of my little boys came to me with a cupcake saying, "Miss Emily, my grandma and I want you to have this since it's your birthday." They thought of me. Little old me. Here I am thinking my job is to minister to them, but they showed me Christ's love in a way that I have never seen before. That is because they are genuine.
These kids don't just smile to smile. If they're gonna smile, they're gonna mean it. But when they do smile, it is one of the most beautiful things you will ever see. Their hearts are being opened up, and God is pouring His love through them. My kids called me mom. I'm barely 21 and in no way, shape, or form ready to be a mom. However, to them, I was that woman. One of my girls introduced me to all of her friends as her momma. It opened my eyes. They wanted me to be that figure in their life more than anything and leaving them was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. Some told me they'd come find me in Kansas. Others begged me not to go. And it's those faces that I walk away with. It's the tears on their cheeks as I hugged them and promised them that I would never forget about them. I don't believe in goodbyes; I believe in see you laters. That is exactly what I told all of them.
I know none of it was me. It had nothing to do with me. I'm one person in this gigantic world. But God so blessed me with an opportunity to pour out His love on His children. And in return, they poured out His love on me. I just can't believe God let me be the one to get to do this. I am so humbled by this amazing opportunity and all that I am still learning from it. This time is a serious time of reflection, and I am already starting to see the change the Lord has began. My life is not about me. My life is about Him and them. I will be His hands and feet wherever He sends me. The cool thing about our God is that you know He still hears their cries. He hears them, He sees them, and He loves them so much more than I ever could. It was hard to leave but I know that they are in the Father's hands. It doesn't matter where I go, they will always be with me. They go with me in my heart and my thoughts. I think about them so much and realize that it was in their eyes that I saw love. My heart is broken for the poor and the oppressed and the needy. I will follow you Lord, into the world.
As more time goes on, I'm sure I will find more words to say. But here it is. Raw emotion with raw reflection. I am one person seeking to find my place in this world. Through Memphis, I feel one step closer. I am forever grateful for the kids I got to minister to and the friendships that I have made. That was another neat thing about Street Reach. I was surrounded with the same group of 18 people who were there for the exact thing I was. We were there to serve our Jesus. I am thankful for the ties I have made and cannot wait to see each of them again.
There is a song I challenge each of you to listen to. It's called Keep Changing the World by Mikeschair. It has revolutionized my world. I hope it can do the same for you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAtal8ZV6eo
For now, that is my rambling.
I love you guys,
Em
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