During a discussion with my young adult group on relationships,
my mind started whirring with millions of little thoughts. Because writing has
always been therapeutic for me, I thought I’d jot (or type) some of the down.
Like most other girls, I am completely enthralled by a good
love story. Set me with up with The Notebook, a box of Kleenex, and some
chocolate, and we have the makings of an exceptionally awesome Friday night. Anyone
who knows me even moderately well would also know that I am HIGHLY addicted to
a current TV series called Once Upon a Time. I have been intrigued with Disney
princesses since an early age, and I love watching them each get their happily
ever after. My favorite growing up was Ariel, and much to my delight, her story-line
is now incorporated into this fairytale world. What’s my point?
Hollywood has disillusioned us to reality.
Do I believe in love? Yes. Do I believe that couples can
have happy endings? Yes. Do I believe it’s all magic and roses? No.
The one aspect of Once Upon a Time that I have always loved
is that the characters have to fight for their happy ending. Unlike most
representations of fairytale love stories, it isn’t just handed to them on a
silver platter. While there are several unrealistic qualities (like the whole
show in general – don’t hate, it’s awesome), I have always appreciated the
writers’ need to incorporate some sense of real life.
In our young adult discussion, the principle of infatuation
was brought up. As with seemingly every Hollywood story, this is the basis of
what our society deems as a good romance. The characters meet, fall head over
heels, and in the case of my beloved Ariel and Eric, are married within days.
This may also contribute to the lack of successful marriages we seem to be
witnessing. What is meant to be a beautiful and holy union has been turned into
a circus act. If it isn’t convenient or appealing within a few months (the
infatuation has left), let’s just call it quits and find something else that
tickles our fancy.
What are we teaching the younger generation?
Like many others, I have been ensnared by the false reality
of what my fairytale would look like. I envisioned my knight in shining armor
coming in the room, our eyes meeting, and instantaneously knowing that this was
the man of my dreams. We spend so much of our lives looking for these fleeting
feelings that we forget what a beautiful romance is founded on: God.
In Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, we are given many
descriptions of what love is. To name a few, love is patient, love is kind, it
does not boast, it is not proud, it is not self-seeking, it does not delight in
wrong, etc. Nowhere in there does Paul say love is built on fleeting feelings
and emotional highs that last only a short time. Love is built on a solid
foundation of mutual respect and a deep and unbelievable awareness of the need
for God. It always troubles me when couples are engaged within months because I
wonder if the fleeting feelings have been given a chance to make way for a
solid friendship and partnership. So often we see that Hollywood’s kind of love
is anything but patient, kind, not proud, not self-seeking, not boastful, and
not delighting in other’s wrongs; Hollywood’s version seems to be just the
opposite.
In my very limited experience, I have seen many couples
experience a lot of hardship after the euphoria has gone away. The couples that
have lasted seemed to have a relationship built not on emotions and impulsive feelings
but on respect, partnership, and a grounding in God. Sometimes I think we get
so caught up in enjoying the moment that we forget to include God in the
decision. In watching our short video at group the other night, the speaker
reminded us that next to accepting Christ, picking who you are going to marry
is the most important decision. I don’t know about you other single people, but
I want a love built on something that’s going to last.
Do I think I know it all? Absolutely not. I am nowhere close
to having this “love” thing figured out. However, I am trying to learn all I
can so as to not let myself be swept up in fantasy world that doesn’t exist.
Will I continue to watch sappy love stories? You better believe
it. I still get lots of entertainment out of them. But, that is just what their
purpose should be. Entertainment. As much as I love me some Prince Eric and
Ariel, I am going to base my relationship on the stuff that will last.
Am I making an announcement? No, I’m sure not. I am not
dating anyone, and I am perfectly happy with that. Singleness is certainly far
from a curse, and I am enjoying every blessing that comes with this season.
But, whenever God deems fit, I will be reminding myself of a forever love that
surpasses any and all Hollywood imagination.
Thanks for letting me ramble!
In Him,
Em
Em
