I love this time of year. Absolutely love it. Christmas spirit makes me jolly beyond compare (yes, I am jolly), and I blast the same Christmas songs over and over again. My heart is filled with song as I see houses lit with beautiful lights, and I about go into over-excited fits when these houses are set to music. (I'm not kidding.) My favorite activity this time of year is to grab a good 'ol cup of Starbucks joe and hit the road to see what Wichita (or Springfield as was the case for four years) has to offer my eyes.
However, in the midst of all this, I have found myself unbelievably cranky. I find my attitude resembling that of my arch nemesis the Grinch, and I wonder what has caused me to slip into such a grumbly way of being. I have a lot to be thankful for: fantastic friends, a loving family, and a job in the midst of economic turmoil. So why am I so crabby? And then it hits me. In the midst of the commercialism (and don't get me wrong, I love lights, music, and the atmosphere just as much as anyone), I have forgotten why Christmas is even worth celebrating in the first place.
Christ has given me reason to have joy beyond the norm. I realize the incredible gift in one baby coming to this earth and remember the saving grace that was sent as the greatest gift to mankind. In this grace comes the beauty of redemption, and I am finding that redemption new everyday.
Ever since I walked across the stage at James River in May, God has been chiseling away at everything I was too busy to deal with. This has been one of the most incredible times of growth, and it is really and truly growth that is only just beginning. God has already shown himself to me in more ways than I could have ever imagined, and I cannot wait to see what else He has in store. This Christmas season, I really choose to believe in the gift of complete and total healing. God is preparing me for what I feel will resemble spiritual boot camp, but I am ready to face it head on. I am ready for Him to break every single chain.
Christ is the true light of the world, and His brilliance should (and does) excite me far more than any one light. I am humbled to think that He loved me enough to die in my place so that I could spend an eternity with Him. Christmas reminds me of that one true light and how its radiance is shining into the darkest and coldest places of my sometimes very Grinch-like heart. As we quickly leave the year 2011, I choose to let the light of Christ lead me on a very exciting journey ahead. I will remember the reason for the season and hold tightly to the promise that I have found in the love of my Savior.
As I gaze upon the decorations and eat to my heart's content (come on, it's holiday time. Who doesn't enjoy Christmas cookies??), I will remember that in one little baby, I have been completely set free. Instead of being caught up in the hustle and bustle and inevitable stress that comes with the holiday season, I will strive to see the redemption that came with the most perfect gift. Let God prepare your heart. He has something great in store for you.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Surrendering the Pen
I know I said that the next post I posted would be about the book I just finished, "When God Writes Your Love Story," but that will have to come at another time. My heart has something else it wants to share.
God never ceases to amaze me. This weekend came with an amazing opportunity and some wonderful time spent with some incredible people.
This weekend I was privileged to listen to my wonderful friend Olivia play for her senior recital. This girl can play the violin like no one's business, let me tell ya. However, my favorite part of the entire recital was watching her and her dad play the song he had composed for her. Not only was it beautiful because he wrote an incredible piece, it was beautiful because they played it together.
This thought has challenged my heart. God has written a beautiful piece for each and every one of our lives. He has pounded out the notes, the phrasing, the crescendos, all of it. And He has written it specifically for us. As humans, it is very easy to want to add in our own "notes" and "rhythms" as we see fit. But, in doing this, we take away from the essence of the masterpiece He wants to enjoy with us. His song is so much better than any one person can compose on their own.
At the end of the piece, Olivia and her dad received a standing ovation. Not only was everyone moved by the beauty of the piece but by the fact that they were able to share in the piece that was created just for them. It was incredible.
God, in this weekend, reminded me of the own song He has written for my life, and this one is not just metaphorically speaking. Many of you remember the dream that God gave me during Christmas break last year. (If not, I dedicated a post to it so feel free to check it out!) A good friend reminded me of something I had said about the song given to me in my dream: "If I record any song in my life, this will be it." This weekend was that moment.
During the chapel I got to speak at in April, I played this very song for the Evangel University student body. Sitting in the room that day was a music major named Joel who happens to be roommates with Travis who happens to be the fiance of the aforementioned Olivia - look how connected life is! Joel told Travis who told Olivia who passed along to me that he wanted to record that song. I communicated with him, got a time set up, and bam! We recorded it this weekend.
The experience was surreal. Never in a million years would I have imagined that I would get the opportunity to record. However, God so pleasantly reminded me that this is NOT my song; it's His. He wrote the notes, gave it the phrasing and rhythms, and put it in my dream. He composed a beautiful piece not only for me but one to be shared.
I was so nervous to record this song. I wanted to do it but didn't at all feel good enough. Let me give you a recap of the conversation between God and I:
- "Um, God, I do not think I am nearly good enough to record this song. I am scared to death."
- "My child, it is not your song. It is Mine that I have let you jot down for me. Don't be selfish. Sing My song. It is meant to bless the world. I will enable you and give you the confidence you need. Don't be afraid."
Well, when God puts things like that, how can you tell Him no.
I ran through it before with my dear friend Deanna (who is great at calming nerves), and then I recorded it. I was so blessed to have dear friends there to hear the recording process as well. Joel was so gracious to do it for me. He is going to mix in a full band, and I really cannot wait to hear the finished product. God definitely enabled me. I have no idea how He is going to use this song or even to what capacity. I have no idea who will hear it or if it will even travel beyond the ears of those who have already heard its words. However, it's Gods to do with what He pleases. In the bridge the lyrics talk about going into the world and singing this song of love. If that's what God wants, by George I will do it! (I know, who says by George anymore?)
As Olivia and her dad played the piece he had so beautifully composed for her, I was reminded that I don't ever want to be afraid or feel like I cannot play the piece God is writing for me. My life's song has barely started, but I cannot wait to see how He pens it all out.
Don't be afraid to surrender your own pen. He's got something beautiful waiting for you.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
God never ceases to amaze me. This weekend came with an amazing opportunity and some wonderful time spent with some incredible people.
This weekend I was privileged to listen to my wonderful friend Olivia play for her senior recital. This girl can play the violin like no one's business, let me tell ya. However, my favorite part of the entire recital was watching her and her dad play the song he had composed for her. Not only was it beautiful because he wrote an incredible piece, it was beautiful because they played it together.
This thought has challenged my heart. God has written a beautiful piece for each and every one of our lives. He has pounded out the notes, the phrasing, the crescendos, all of it. And He has written it specifically for us. As humans, it is very easy to want to add in our own "notes" and "rhythms" as we see fit. But, in doing this, we take away from the essence of the masterpiece He wants to enjoy with us. His song is so much better than any one person can compose on their own.
At the end of the piece, Olivia and her dad received a standing ovation. Not only was everyone moved by the beauty of the piece but by the fact that they were able to share in the piece that was created just for them. It was incredible.
God, in this weekend, reminded me of the own song He has written for my life, and this one is not just metaphorically speaking. Many of you remember the dream that God gave me during Christmas break last year. (If not, I dedicated a post to it so feel free to check it out!) A good friend reminded me of something I had said about the song given to me in my dream: "If I record any song in my life, this will be it." This weekend was that moment.
During the chapel I got to speak at in April, I played this very song for the Evangel University student body. Sitting in the room that day was a music major named Joel who happens to be roommates with Travis who happens to be the fiance of the aforementioned Olivia - look how connected life is! Joel told Travis who told Olivia who passed along to me that he wanted to record that song. I communicated with him, got a time set up, and bam! We recorded it this weekend.
The experience was surreal. Never in a million years would I have imagined that I would get the opportunity to record. However, God so pleasantly reminded me that this is NOT my song; it's His. He wrote the notes, gave it the phrasing and rhythms, and put it in my dream. He composed a beautiful piece not only for me but one to be shared.
I was so nervous to record this song. I wanted to do it but didn't at all feel good enough. Let me give you a recap of the conversation between God and I:
- "Um, God, I do not think I am nearly good enough to record this song. I am scared to death."
- "My child, it is not your song. It is Mine that I have let you jot down for me. Don't be selfish. Sing My song. It is meant to bless the world. I will enable you and give you the confidence you need. Don't be afraid."
Well, when God puts things like that, how can you tell Him no.
I ran through it before with my dear friend Deanna (who is great at calming nerves), and then I recorded it. I was so blessed to have dear friends there to hear the recording process as well. Joel was so gracious to do it for me. He is going to mix in a full band, and I really cannot wait to hear the finished product. God definitely enabled me. I have no idea how He is going to use this song or even to what capacity. I have no idea who will hear it or if it will even travel beyond the ears of those who have already heard its words. However, it's Gods to do with what He pleases. In the bridge the lyrics talk about going into the world and singing this song of love. If that's what God wants, by George I will do it! (I know, who says by George anymore?)
As Olivia and her dad played the piece he had so beautifully composed for her, I was reminded that I don't ever want to be afraid or feel like I cannot play the piece God is writing for me. My life's song has barely started, but I cannot wait to see how He pens it all out.
Don't be afraid to surrender your own pen. He's got something beautiful waiting for you.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Power in the Written Word
When I was a kid, reading was all I did. I remember being part of programs in which you would get points for reading books, and with those points came rewards. Tell any child they will get a prize (whether it be the latest Power Ranger, stuffed animal, or a pizza party), and you can generally get them to do just about anything.
So, I always, always read. I prided myself on being able to read at a ninth grade level in the fourth grade. It was the little things in life that I had to look forward to.
However, as I got older, I found less and less time to read. In fact, reading became anything but fun due to the fact that it became a necessity to pass my classes. Reading 100 + pages on the molecular make-up of the human body never really tickled my fancy. However, once college ended, I discovered all the time in the world to dive into the untapped pages I once so frequently visited.
My friend Paige is an avid reader (as is most of her family). She began to throw book after book at me (not really, but I like the dramatic emphasis), and I discovered why I love reading so much. However, she told me about one book in particular that I HAD to read. It's called "When God Writes Your Love Story." The title alone frightened me.
It seems as though most of the world around me is either getting married or in a serious relationship. It became really hard for me to not get frustrated that I hadn't found my special someone. When Paige gave me this book, I thought to myself "wonderful, another self-help book to help me get over my impatience in not having found anyone yet...I cannot wait to see how this goes..." I know, my attitude rocked. No worries, after reading just the first few pages, my mind became opened to a whole new world.
I have not finished the book, but I will be giving it a full report once I have. It is written from a very human perspective, which I love and appreciate more than anything. The authors are Eric and Leslie Ludy, and they walk the reader through what pretty much everyone deals with in this realm. However, they so carefully reminded me that my love story is not intended to be written by me; it's intended to be written by God.
I'm almost half-way through the book, and these are some of the wonderful insights I have gleaned:
- Give God the pen to my love story and completely surrender every aspect of my
life.
- Be completely satisfied with only Him.
- Live as though my future spouse can see me.
- Ask God to guard EVERY aspect of my life and heart.
The thing that blows my mind the most is that He is genuinely interested in writing me the best love story ever. So why in the world have I been so impatient and tried to write my own pages? The book talks about viewing other Christian guys as pilgrims and not potentials. Ding ding ding, what a revelation.
Already my eyes have been opened to something I really did not ever think about; Jesus is truly interested in my love story. Why? Because He's the best author for the job.
This week I have REALLY began to relinquish control in my life and especially in that area. As I have done this, I have found myself even more satisfied with just being with my King. As I sit and dwell on all He has done for me, I feel foolish for not trusting Him with this oh so fragile part of my life. Who better to entrust my heart to than Christ?
When I finish the book, I will dedicate an entire post to it. I encourage you, read it. It's awesome. Seriously.
In a day and age where we are so consumed by technology, sometimes it's better to sit down and let ourselves be enlightened by the revelations God shares with His children.
Wow. I'm dumb-founded.
Until I finish the book, I leave with these thoughts.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
So, I always, always read. I prided myself on being able to read at a ninth grade level in the fourth grade. It was the little things in life that I had to look forward to.
However, as I got older, I found less and less time to read. In fact, reading became anything but fun due to the fact that it became a necessity to pass my classes. Reading 100 + pages on the molecular make-up of the human body never really tickled my fancy. However, once college ended, I discovered all the time in the world to dive into the untapped pages I once so frequently visited.
My friend Paige is an avid reader (as is most of her family). She began to throw book after book at me (not really, but I like the dramatic emphasis), and I discovered why I love reading so much. However, she told me about one book in particular that I HAD to read. It's called "When God Writes Your Love Story." The title alone frightened me.
It seems as though most of the world around me is either getting married or in a serious relationship. It became really hard for me to not get frustrated that I hadn't found my special someone. When Paige gave me this book, I thought to myself "wonderful, another self-help book to help me get over my impatience in not having found anyone yet...I cannot wait to see how this goes..." I know, my attitude rocked. No worries, after reading just the first few pages, my mind became opened to a whole new world.
I have not finished the book, but I will be giving it a full report once I have. It is written from a very human perspective, which I love and appreciate more than anything. The authors are Eric and Leslie Ludy, and they walk the reader through what pretty much everyone deals with in this realm. However, they so carefully reminded me that my love story is not intended to be written by me; it's intended to be written by God.
I'm almost half-way through the book, and these are some of the wonderful insights I have gleaned:
- Give God the pen to my love story and completely surrender every aspect of my
life.
- Be completely satisfied with only Him.
- Live as though my future spouse can see me.
- Ask God to guard EVERY aspect of my life and heart.
The thing that blows my mind the most is that He is genuinely interested in writing me the best love story ever. So why in the world have I been so impatient and tried to write my own pages? The book talks about viewing other Christian guys as pilgrims and not potentials. Ding ding ding, what a revelation.
Already my eyes have been opened to something I really did not ever think about; Jesus is truly interested in my love story. Why? Because He's the best author for the job.
This week I have REALLY began to relinquish control in my life and especially in that area. As I have done this, I have found myself even more satisfied with just being with my King. As I sit and dwell on all He has done for me, I feel foolish for not trusting Him with this oh so fragile part of my life. Who better to entrust my heart to than Christ?
When I finish the book, I will dedicate an entire post to it. I encourage you, read it. It's awesome. Seriously.
In a day and age where we are so consumed by technology, sometimes it's better to sit down and let ourselves be enlightened by the revelations God shares with His children.
Wow. I'm dumb-founded.
Until I finish the book, I leave with these thoughts.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Endless Opportunities
These past couple of weeks have been extremely joyful.
There is something about fall that makes me really excited inside. I don't know if it's the change in colors, the wonderful air, or the fact that I don't have to write papers anymore so I can actually enjoy it! This season has become one of my favorites. I love hot cider, bonfires, and the beauty that comes with this time of year.
This fall has also brought on some new experiences for me, and they are experiences I am thoroughly enjoying. I am now a youth sponsor at my church and am loving the connection time I am getting. It's funny, for an age group I said I would never work with, they are really starting to grow on me. It's definitely a different perspective to be on this end of things. I remember sitting in the youth group and admiring those that were older than me. I remember hoping and wishing that they would come talk to me and want to make an investment in my life. Now here I am, at that very age, and so blessed to be able to get that chance.
I already know several of the girls in the youth group. A couple of them I have known for pretty much forever. However, I don't want to miss out on an opportunity to invest in that girl who feels like she has no one. I don't want to miss out on that girl who wishes someone would just come talk to her. Being the age I am, I have a rare window of time to show the love of Christ to these girls in a different way. Granted, we have some stinking awesome youth sponsors, and I love them all dearly. I just feel really excited about being able to show God to these young ladies in a different light.
I've been looking back a lot on the first person to really invest in my walk with Christ, and the impact she has had will last forever. I hope that I can show even just a fraction of what she showed me about God. God has already began to open the door of connection with some of these teenagers, and I can't wait to see how He opens it even more. I believe in a generation who does not find their worth in the eyes of a guy, of a tabloid image, or in what the world says they should be. I believe in a generation who finds their worth and value in the eyes of the King who loves and adores them more than they could ever know. My heart is for these girls and for these women who don't believe in themselves. I will never forget who first believed in me. I want these girls to know that I believe in them.
Being a youth sponsor has also given me the opportunity to be surrounded by some amazing women. I love the openness I feel in talking to them. I love being able to hear their hearts. I love how crazy and goofy they are. In essence, I just love them.
All in all, I am humbled yet again. God has given me an AMAZING opportunity in being with this youth group, and I am not going to take it for granted. I pray that in every conversation I have, every hug I give, and every amount of time I spend, these youth see that God loves and believes in them.
What an exciting time in life. :)
I'll keep you posted.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
There is something about fall that makes me really excited inside. I don't know if it's the change in colors, the wonderful air, or the fact that I don't have to write papers anymore so I can actually enjoy it! This season has become one of my favorites. I love hot cider, bonfires, and the beauty that comes with this time of year.
This fall has also brought on some new experiences for me, and they are experiences I am thoroughly enjoying. I am now a youth sponsor at my church and am loving the connection time I am getting. It's funny, for an age group I said I would never work with, they are really starting to grow on me. It's definitely a different perspective to be on this end of things. I remember sitting in the youth group and admiring those that were older than me. I remember hoping and wishing that they would come talk to me and want to make an investment in my life. Now here I am, at that very age, and so blessed to be able to get that chance.
I already know several of the girls in the youth group. A couple of them I have known for pretty much forever. However, I don't want to miss out on an opportunity to invest in that girl who feels like she has no one. I don't want to miss out on that girl who wishes someone would just come talk to her. Being the age I am, I have a rare window of time to show the love of Christ to these girls in a different way. Granted, we have some stinking awesome youth sponsors, and I love them all dearly. I just feel really excited about being able to show God to these young ladies in a different light.
I've been looking back a lot on the first person to really invest in my walk with Christ, and the impact she has had will last forever. I hope that I can show even just a fraction of what she showed me about God. God has already began to open the door of connection with some of these teenagers, and I can't wait to see how He opens it even more. I believe in a generation who does not find their worth in the eyes of a guy, of a tabloid image, or in what the world says they should be. I believe in a generation who finds their worth and value in the eyes of the King who loves and adores them more than they could ever know. My heart is for these girls and for these women who don't believe in themselves. I will never forget who first believed in me. I want these girls to know that I believe in them.
Being a youth sponsor has also given me the opportunity to be surrounded by some amazing women. I love the openness I feel in talking to them. I love being able to hear their hearts. I love how crazy and goofy they are. In essence, I just love them.
All in all, I am humbled yet again. God has given me an AMAZING opportunity in being with this youth group, and I am not going to take it for granted. I pray that in every conversation I have, every hug I give, and every amount of time I spend, these youth see that God loves and believes in them.
What an exciting time in life. :)
I'll keep you posted.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
A Needed Recharge
Last week was one of the craziest, exciting, tiring, and needed weeks since I graduated from college. In essence, it was almost perfect.
The week started with my first district event for the Assemblies of God in Kansas. Every year, the district puts on something called Ministers' Renewal. Many of the district pastors come to good 'ol Wheat State Camp and spend a few days being able to connect with other leaders.
It was such a great experience.
Can I just tell you that I work for the best people ever? (Andy, if you're reading this, I'm including you!) ;) They have such hearts for people and for doing Kingdom work that I can't help but be inspired every time I am around them. They love these pastors and they love people.
This event allowed me to interact with some of Kansas' finest. I got to talk to so many different people - some that I knew, some that I didn't. One of the first people to really influence my walk with the Lord was also there. She and her husband are pastors, and it was so nice to have the chance to connect with her again. She poured into my life starting at such a young age, and I am forever grateful.
I love that my line of work allows me to be so relational. I get to talk to people from all different walks of life all the time, and it is such an energy boost for me.
The event was also just tons of fun. Along with the fun, there were also lots of long hours. However, since I worked such long hours, I was given Thursday and Friday of last week off. Can you say glory hallelujah?
With that, I was able to take off to Springfield a day early. Let me just tell ya, that trip was exactly what I have needed. I got to spend time with some of my favorite people in the entire world, and it was so nice to be able to interact with them face-to-face again.
I have missed my community. At Evangel Temple's young adults group on Sunday, they really talked about the importance of community and connecting to the people around you. None of us were meant to walk through life alone. I am so thankful to have the friends I do (even if the ones who walked through Evangel with me aren't really near).
However, I was also reminded that Evangel is no longer my home. As I stood at the front desk, I expected my friend Laurisha to come bounding out of her room on the first floor. Also, walking down the side walk to the south-side of campus, I kept looking for my dear Amy. As I remembered that they are no longer there, I took a look at the Evangel that was around me. New faces. Different settings. A whole new time.
I will always treasure everything about my experience at Evangel. My friend Lisa asked me to list off what made my last semester so wonderful, and the list was just endless. I am blessed.
As I continue on my new path in life, I look back with fondness. I get to go back to Springfield in November for my friend Olivia's senior recital, and I cannot wait to once again hug the necks of these wonderful friends I have missed so dearly.
However, I am also keeping my eyes ahead. When I graduated from Evangel, my dear friend Deanna reminded me that this was a time to go out in peace because the Lord knows exactly what He is doing. Time and time again, He has proved that He does.
The Lord knew I needed this time with so many precious friends. I have made some wonderful memories with these amazing people. As I look forward to the time when I can see them again, I also look forward to where God is taking and shaping my life.
I have learned something very valuable these past few months: His plans far exceed my own.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
The week started with my first district event for the Assemblies of God in Kansas. Every year, the district puts on something called Ministers' Renewal. Many of the district pastors come to good 'ol Wheat State Camp and spend a few days being able to connect with other leaders.
It was such a great experience.
Can I just tell you that I work for the best people ever? (Andy, if you're reading this, I'm including you!) ;) They have such hearts for people and for doing Kingdom work that I can't help but be inspired every time I am around them. They love these pastors and they love people.
This event allowed me to interact with some of Kansas' finest. I got to talk to so many different people - some that I knew, some that I didn't. One of the first people to really influence my walk with the Lord was also there. She and her husband are pastors, and it was so nice to have the chance to connect with her again. She poured into my life starting at such a young age, and I am forever grateful.
I love that my line of work allows me to be so relational. I get to talk to people from all different walks of life all the time, and it is such an energy boost for me.
The event was also just tons of fun. Along with the fun, there were also lots of long hours. However, since I worked such long hours, I was given Thursday and Friday of last week off. Can you say glory hallelujah?
With that, I was able to take off to Springfield a day early. Let me just tell ya, that trip was exactly what I have needed. I got to spend time with some of my favorite people in the entire world, and it was so nice to be able to interact with them face-to-face again.
I have missed my community. At Evangel Temple's young adults group on Sunday, they really talked about the importance of community and connecting to the people around you. None of us were meant to walk through life alone. I am so thankful to have the friends I do (even if the ones who walked through Evangel with me aren't really near).
However, I was also reminded that Evangel is no longer my home. As I stood at the front desk, I expected my friend Laurisha to come bounding out of her room on the first floor. Also, walking down the side walk to the south-side of campus, I kept looking for my dear Amy. As I remembered that they are no longer there, I took a look at the Evangel that was around me. New faces. Different settings. A whole new time.
I will always treasure everything about my experience at Evangel. My friend Lisa asked me to list off what made my last semester so wonderful, and the list was just endless. I am blessed.
As I continue on my new path in life, I look back with fondness. I get to go back to Springfield in November for my friend Olivia's senior recital, and I cannot wait to once again hug the necks of these wonderful friends I have missed so dearly.
However, I am also keeping my eyes ahead. When I graduated from Evangel, my dear friend Deanna reminded me that this was a time to go out in peace because the Lord knows exactly what He is doing. Time and time again, He has proved that He does.
The Lord knew I needed this time with so many precious friends. I have made some wonderful memories with these amazing people. As I look forward to the time when I can see them again, I also look forward to where God is taking and shaping my life.
I have learned something very valuable these past few months: His plans far exceed my own.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Pleasant Reminders
I have been employed for almost a month.
My how time flies.
I love absolutely everything (well almost everything!) about my job. I could not have asked for a better work environment or better people.
In this past month, I have also been officially credentialed. It is quite humbling to be honest. I have spent the past 10 years dreaming of this day and now that it has come, I am reminded still of just how small I am and how great HE is. Reverend is such an honor and one that I hope I never take lightly.
The month has also been filled with some spots of loneliness. I have transitioned out of one of the most constant and people-filled stages of my life: college. At every wake and turn, there was someone there...always. Now as I have entered this new phase in my life, there is not always someone at every turn (at least not someone my age). Don't get me wrong, I am blessed beyond measure. I still have some of the world's greatest friends (even though they are miles and miles away from me). However, the Lord has constantly taught me to find my source in Him.
In these moments of loneliness, I have tried to make it an effort to cry out to God instead of moping in a state of self-despair (a.k.a. pity party). I have learned that God does a much better job of filling that hole than if I sit there and whine to myself. It's like He is meant to be our all sustaining source of life and joy. Weird. Who would have thought.
And it is in these moments of asking God to constantly be my source, a pleasant reminder of His love and grace comes through.
God has made me a very relational being. I derive energy from being with and around people. I always have, I believe I always will. It's called being an extreme extrovert. So in these moments of loneliness, God makes His presence even more known. After I have had one of these moments, a text message, a call, or some form of communication comes through from one of those wonderful friends I was telling you about who live miles and miles away from me. Every time this happens, I feel God gently nudge me and say, "My child, I told you that you are never alone. Let me provide the comfort you need, and I will grant you the relational need I have placed in you." And let me just tell you, He provides again and again at exactly the right moment I need it.
God is my source.
Lives get busy. Chaos ensues. But God remains the same.
It is easy to feel that ping of loneliness, but it is important to remember that we are never ever alone. So let the God of the universe be the one you need.
Thanks for letting me ramble yet again. :)
Adios until next time.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
My how time flies.
I love absolutely everything (well almost everything!) about my job. I could not have asked for a better work environment or better people.
In this past month, I have also been officially credentialed. It is quite humbling to be honest. I have spent the past 10 years dreaming of this day and now that it has come, I am reminded still of just how small I am and how great HE is. Reverend is such an honor and one that I hope I never take lightly.
The month has also been filled with some spots of loneliness. I have transitioned out of one of the most constant and people-filled stages of my life: college. At every wake and turn, there was someone there...always. Now as I have entered this new phase in my life, there is not always someone at every turn (at least not someone my age). Don't get me wrong, I am blessed beyond measure. I still have some of the world's greatest friends (even though they are miles and miles away from me). However, the Lord has constantly taught me to find my source in Him.
In these moments of loneliness, I have tried to make it an effort to cry out to God instead of moping in a state of self-despair (a.k.a. pity party). I have learned that God does a much better job of filling that hole than if I sit there and whine to myself. It's like He is meant to be our all sustaining source of life and joy. Weird. Who would have thought.
And it is in these moments of asking God to constantly be my source, a pleasant reminder of His love and grace comes through.
God has made me a very relational being. I derive energy from being with and around people. I always have, I believe I always will. It's called being an extreme extrovert. So in these moments of loneliness, God makes His presence even more known. After I have had one of these moments, a text message, a call, or some form of communication comes through from one of those wonderful friends I was telling you about who live miles and miles away from me. Every time this happens, I feel God gently nudge me and say, "My child, I told you that you are never alone. Let me provide the comfort you need, and I will grant you the relational need I have placed in you." And let me just tell you, He provides again and again at exactly the right moment I need it.
God is my source.
Lives get busy. Chaos ensues. But God remains the same.
It is easy to feel that ping of loneliness, but it is important to remember that we are never ever alone. So let the God of the universe be the one you need.
Thanks for letting me ramble yet again. :)
Adios until next time.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Friday, August 19, 2011
Never Say Never
As much as I love me some Justin Bieber, this post is not a tribute to his wonderful film. I did indeed steal the title, but, this is in a completely different context.
I definitely did say never.
I told God (note the telling part...how silly I am) that I was NEVER EVER IN A MILLION GILLION YEARS moving back to Wichita. The Lord has a sense of humor because where am I located now?? Oh yeah, Wichita.
As many of you have read in my earlier postings, I know why I came home this summer, and it was one of the best summers I have had. It was full of growth and rest in the Lord, and I loved absolutely every minute of it.
Searching for a job (like for everyone else) has been a major challenge. Nothing seemed like it was the right job for me or like it was the right door.
In talking to one of our pastor's wives at my church (the wonderful Crystal), we were discussing my heart for inner-city ministry and working with kids and women. (Side-note, I also told the Lord I would NEVER EVER EVER be interested in working with teenagers. I bet you know what comes next!! Yeah, I'm now interested...Oh how funny God is!) She told me to talk to a guy at my church who worked in Kansas City for a long time and would maybe know of some opportunities for me. So, I contacted him.
Along with giving me information, he also told me of a need that the Assemblies of God district office here in Wichita had. They needed a receptionist. At first, I scoffed at the idea. Why in the world would I want to do that? It's not what I feel called to do. The Lord kindly reminded me that ministry is everywhere...not just behind a pulpit. On top of it, this office is full of on-fire people for Jesus who could teach me more than I could ever imagine about what it really means to serve.
God also gently reminded me that before He can be great in me, I have to let Him be great in the small.
So with that, I applied. Yesterday I interviewed and got called back with a job offer. I squealed. That office already feels like home. My interview was fantastic, and I cannot wait to work for these amazing people. I cannot wait to learn everything that God has for me being in that office.
No, it doesn't follow my plan. But, God's plan trumps all, and I cannot wait to see where He leads me from here.
I'm done telling God never (I hope). I'm in for the ride of my life.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
I definitely did say never.
I told God (note the telling part...how silly I am) that I was NEVER EVER IN A MILLION GILLION YEARS moving back to Wichita. The Lord has a sense of humor because where am I located now?? Oh yeah, Wichita.
As many of you have read in my earlier postings, I know why I came home this summer, and it was one of the best summers I have had. It was full of growth and rest in the Lord, and I loved absolutely every minute of it.
Searching for a job (like for everyone else) has been a major challenge. Nothing seemed like it was the right job for me or like it was the right door.
In talking to one of our pastor's wives at my church (the wonderful Crystal), we were discussing my heart for inner-city ministry and working with kids and women. (Side-note, I also told the Lord I would NEVER EVER EVER be interested in working with teenagers. I bet you know what comes next!! Yeah, I'm now interested...Oh how funny God is!) She told me to talk to a guy at my church who worked in Kansas City for a long time and would maybe know of some opportunities for me. So, I contacted him.
Along with giving me information, he also told me of a need that the Assemblies of God district office here in Wichita had. They needed a receptionist. At first, I scoffed at the idea. Why in the world would I want to do that? It's not what I feel called to do. The Lord kindly reminded me that ministry is everywhere...not just behind a pulpit. On top of it, this office is full of on-fire people for Jesus who could teach me more than I could ever imagine about what it really means to serve.
God also gently reminded me that before He can be great in me, I have to let Him be great in the small.
So with that, I applied. Yesterday I interviewed and got called back with a job offer. I squealed. That office already feels like home. My interview was fantastic, and I cannot wait to work for these amazing people. I cannot wait to learn everything that God has for me being in that office.
No, it doesn't follow my plan. But, God's plan trumps all, and I cannot wait to see where He leads me from here.
I'm done telling God never (I hope). I'm in for the ride of my life.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Child-Like Faith
For my birthday this year, my parents were wonderful enough to buy me a new queen-size bed. YIPPEE!!!!! I cannot even BEGIN to express how excited I am for this bed. I'm receiving said bed tomorrow, and I needed to rearrange my room and move my current bed to where the new bed is going. Well, under my current bed was a lot of junk that I've had since I was like four, and I decided it was high time to go through it all and see what I wanted to keep. Of course there were things that my mom did not want to throw away (and with my brother going to college this weekend, life does not need to be more complicated for my poor mother.) So, I began to rifle and rummage through my childhood.
At first, I just laughed at old notes from elementary school friends. A lot of them contained, "let's be bff's FOREVER!!!! <3" I find it rather amusing that I do not even remember who half of these people were...I found old bracelets, rings, random pieces of paper, and my collector barbies (do not judge, they could make me millions one day!) ;) I even found old letters that I had written to my brother when we got into fights...we were very diplomatic children and talked through our feelings when one stole the other's toy or smacked the other for no apparent reason.
But then I found what life was like when I completely and utterly trusted God and believed in miracles - I found my old journals. When I was in the 4th grade, my grandmother got into an almost fatal car accident. I found the following statements that I had written at age 9: "I think God put his angels in my grandma's car," "I know by a miracle God kept her safe," "My life has been changed and so has my family's, still I know that God kept her alive and safe. I believe in miracles." As I read the pages that I had poured so much of my heart onto, God reminded me of child-like faith. At that age, my biggest concern was having too much homework that would keep me from going outside to play. When my grandma almost passed away, I knew that God had been there and that He was the reason she is still alive to this day.
Why do I find excuses to doubt?
13 years later, I am now a college graduate waiting to see where I am going to be employed. I have caught myself so many times going into freak-out mode because I am not quite sure of where my life is going to go. As I read those pages tonight, God so gently reminded me that He is and always will be there. He is the miracle worker, and I believe that He will always take care of me.
I am glad that I found those pages of my youthful innocence once again. My challenge to us all is to find that child-like faith once again where we know to believe in miracles and to know that God has us in the palm of His hand.
In the midst of the chaos that life throws your way, remember that the same God who brought you through bruised up and bloodied knees will be there to bring you through any stress, strain, or loss that plagues you now.
I have been reminded of my child-like faith. I hope this can be a reminder for all of you.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
At first, I just laughed at old notes from elementary school friends. A lot of them contained, "let's be bff's FOREVER!!!! <3" I find it rather amusing that I do not even remember who half of these people were...I found old bracelets, rings, random pieces of paper, and my collector barbies (do not judge, they could make me millions one day!) ;) I even found old letters that I had written to my brother when we got into fights...we were very diplomatic children and talked through our feelings when one stole the other's toy or smacked the other for no apparent reason.
But then I found what life was like when I completely and utterly trusted God and believed in miracles - I found my old journals. When I was in the 4th grade, my grandmother got into an almost fatal car accident. I found the following statements that I had written at age 9: "I think God put his angels in my grandma's car," "I know by a miracle God kept her safe," "My life has been changed and so has my family's, still I know that God kept her alive and safe. I believe in miracles." As I read the pages that I had poured so much of my heart onto, God reminded me of child-like faith. At that age, my biggest concern was having too much homework that would keep me from going outside to play. When my grandma almost passed away, I knew that God had been there and that He was the reason she is still alive to this day.
Why do I find excuses to doubt?
13 years later, I am now a college graduate waiting to see where I am going to be employed. I have caught myself so many times going into freak-out mode because I am not quite sure of where my life is going to go. As I read those pages tonight, God so gently reminded me that He is and always will be there. He is the miracle worker, and I believe that He will always take care of me.
I am glad that I found those pages of my youthful innocence once again. My challenge to us all is to find that child-like faith once again where we know to believe in miracles and to know that God has us in the palm of His hand.
In the midst of the chaos that life throws your way, remember that the same God who brought you through bruised up and bloodied knees will be there to bring you through any stress, strain, or loss that plagues you now.
I have been reminded of my child-like faith. I hope this can be a reminder for all of you.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Monday, August 8, 2011
Waiting Part Two
God has taught me the meaning of patience...or I guess I might still be learning that lesson. This process of waiting just flat out stinks sometimes.
I have caught myself at several points "waiting for my life to start." God kindly reminds me that my life started 22 years ago, and it hasn't stopped. His timing is just far better than my own, and maybe one day I'll get over my stubborn resolve and actually listen to that truth the first time.
In this transition time I have experienced such great rest and joy. I have genuinely loved being home and realize time and time again why God brought me here. My life has still been going...
Since the start of senior year, I have been "waiting" to meet Mr. Right (since everyone else seems to be on that bandwagon, I didn't want to feel left out!!.....ha.), "waiting" to start doing ministry, "waiting."
As far as Mr. Right goes, I know again that God's timing far surpasses my own. To be completely honest, I could not be more excited for my friends who are getting married because I get to share in their special days (and I LOVE weddings...no seriously...love). I know that God will bring him when He's ready. Why rush the moment that God has me in? Why miss out wishing for what He's not ready to show?
Ministry. What I have felt called to do since I was 12. However, God kindly reminded me this week that ministry is not just behind a pulpit or in being a pastor (even though I love doing both). Ministry is in life, in how you live and how you love. I'm a plunge all in kinda kid, and God is showing me that this option is not always the best. He has shown me that in order for Him to be great in the big, I have to let Him show me how to be joyful in the small. I have always had big dreams, and I have also been kindly reminded to not give up on those dreams that God has so fervently placed in me. However, why would God throw me head first into something I'm not ready for? What makes me think I'm exempt from going through the steps it takes to reach those goals...to really appreciate the dreams He has given me? I am actually really genuinely excited to start in the small. He has molded my life so perfectly, and I am ready to continue discovering the puzzle one piece at a time.
No more waiting. This summer has been a chance to live, and I have loved living every minute of it. I have been reminded of some precious friendships and found joy in many already strong relationships. Though I'm not quite sure of where I'm going from here, God knows. As many of my friends prepare to go back to EU, I continue to embrace every precious moment and gift I've been given.
Life's too short. No more waiting. My life started a long time ago. God has already written some pretty awesome chapters...I'm PUMPED to watch Him show me my story.
No fear. No worry. No waiting.
Live.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
I have caught myself at several points "waiting for my life to start." God kindly reminds me that my life started 22 years ago, and it hasn't stopped. His timing is just far better than my own, and maybe one day I'll get over my stubborn resolve and actually listen to that truth the first time.
In this transition time I have experienced such great rest and joy. I have genuinely loved being home and realize time and time again why God brought me here. My life has still been going...
Since the start of senior year, I have been "waiting" to meet Mr. Right (since everyone else seems to be on that bandwagon, I didn't want to feel left out!!.....ha.), "waiting" to start doing ministry, "waiting."
As far as Mr. Right goes, I know again that God's timing far surpasses my own. To be completely honest, I could not be more excited for my friends who are getting married because I get to share in their special days (and I LOVE weddings...no seriously...love). I know that God will bring him when He's ready. Why rush the moment that God has me in? Why miss out wishing for what He's not ready to show?
Ministry. What I have felt called to do since I was 12. However, God kindly reminded me this week that ministry is not just behind a pulpit or in being a pastor (even though I love doing both). Ministry is in life, in how you live and how you love. I'm a plunge all in kinda kid, and God is showing me that this option is not always the best. He has shown me that in order for Him to be great in the big, I have to let Him show me how to be joyful in the small. I have always had big dreams, and I have also been kindly reminded to not give up on those dreams that God has so fervently placed in me. However, why would God throw me head first into something I'm not ready for? What makes me think I'm exempt from going through the steps it takes to reach those goals...to really appreciate the dreams He has given me? I am actually really genuinely excited to start in the small. He has molded my life so perfectly, and I am ready to continue discovering the puzzle one piece at a time.
No more waiting. This summer has been a chance to live, and I have loved living every minute of it. I have been reminded of some precious friendships and found joy in many already strong relationships. Though I'm not quite sure of where I'm going from here, God knows. As many of my friends prepare to go back to EU, I continue to embrace every precious moment and gift I've been given.
Life's too short. No more waiting. My life started a long time ago. God has already written some pretty awesome chapters...I'm PUMPED to watch Him show me my story.
No fear. No worry. No waiting.
Live.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Summer Thus Far...
We are half-way into July, folks. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly time seems to fly.
This summer has been NOTHING like I expected, and that is a great thing. I have realized something very important: attitude is everything.
I had in my head that after last summer, I was ready to just embark on the next part of my journey right after I graduated. It was time to jump full force into the ministry that I feel so called to go into (or so I thought). After God told me no about Memphis, I felt so lost and confused. I had never in my wildest dreams thought I would come back to Wichita, but let me just say how thankful I am for the time I have had here.
This summer has been a summer of restoration, healing, essential time, and rest. I had no idea what amazing things the Lord had in store for me, and there is still some time left to enjoy why He had me come home.
It has been absolutely wonderful to spend this time with my family. I have learned how precious and sacred that is, and I never wish to take advantage of that again. I have also gotten to spend time with a friend I have known for many, many years. She has always held a special place in my heart (as has her entire family), but I never fully appreciated our friendship until this summer. She is one of those people that will be a part of my life for the rest of it, and I am very thankful for that. It is amazing how God knows what we need way better than we know ourselves.
I needed this summer, and I didn't even know it.
My heart always aches for the friends that are far away. My friend from Romania told me today that she is getting ready to have a baby!!! I could not be more excited for her. It has been almost four months since I last hugged Roxana, and I do not know when I will get a chance to see her again or that beautiful child she is going to bring into the world. However, I could not be more thankful to have gotten the chance to meet her. Whenever I think of Romania, I also think back to the wonderful friendship I found in a team member from Valley Forge that was with us that week. She and I still get to talk often, and I am thankful for great connections even after only spending a week together. God is good.
And as always, I often think back fondly on Evangel. Even though it was only a couple months ago that I walked that line and received my degree, it feels like ages ago. I miss my friends from there terribly. However, it's amazing how much God has blessed and grown these friendships in spite of the distance and time apart. I could not feel more blessed or more thankful.
I just received news that I PASSED MY CREDENTIALING EXAM!!!! Wahoo!!! The next (and I do believe final) step is the interview. I cannot believe that this process in my life is finally happening. I have dreamed of being a pastor for so long that this feels almost surreal. This is a calling I take with the highest respect and responsibility and feel so unworthy of this great honor.
I also get to go to Bartlesville, OK this weekend to meet the church and staff of Abundant Life Church and discuss their children's pastor position! I am anxiously awaiting the Lord's direction and cannot wait to see where He leads.
So, in a nutshell, life is nothing like I expected it to be, but I am so thankful that I have a God who knows better than I what I need. I feel refreshed and charged after a very emotional last few months before school ended. Evangel and my friends are very much in my heart, and I cannot wait to see where God leads us all. I am thankful that distance does not have to determine the closeness and strength of a relationship. In fact, I am happy that it has made them stronger.
So here I am...blessed and thankful and continually reveling in the greatness of God's plan.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
This summer has been NOTHING like I expected, and that is a great thing. I have realized something very important: attitude is everything.
I had in my head that after last summer, I was ready to just embark on the next part of my journey right after I graduated. It was time to jump full force into the ministry that I feel so called to go into (or so I thought). After God told me no about Memphis, I felt so lost and confused. I had never in my wildest dreams thought I would come back to Wichita, but let me just say how thankful I am for the time I have had here.
This summer has been a summer of restoration, healing, essential time, and rest. I had no idea what amazing things the Lord had in store for me, and there is still some time left to enjoy why He had me come home.
It has been absolutely wonderful to spend this time with my family. I have learned how precious and sacred that is, and I never wish to take advantage of that again. I have also gotten to spend time with a friend I have known for many, many years. She has always held a special place in my heart (as has her entire family), but I never fully appreciated our friendship until this summer. She is one of those people that will be a part of my life for the rest of it, and I am very thankful for that. It is amazing how God knows what we need way better than we know ourselves.
I needed this summer, and I didn't even know it.
My heart always aches for the friends that are far away. My friend from Romania told me today that she is getting ready to have a baby!!! I could not be more excited for her. It has been almost four months since I last hugged Roxana, and I do not know when I will get a chance to see her again or that beautiful child she is going to bring into the world. However, I could not be more thankful to have gotten the chance to meet her. Whenever I think of Romania, I also think back to the wonderful friendship I found in a team member from Valley Forge that was with us that week. She and I still get to talk often, and I am thankful for great connections even after only spending a week together. God is good.
And as always, I often think back fondly on Evangel. Even though it was only a couple months ago that I walked that line and received my degree, it feels like ages ago. I miss my friends from there terribly. However, it's amazing how much God has blessed and grown these friendships in spite of the distance and time apart. I could not feel more blessed or more thankful.
I just received news that I PASSED MY CREDENTIALING EXAM!!!! Wahoo!!! The next (and I do believe final) step is the interview. I cannot believe that this process in my life is finally happening. I have dreamed of being a pastor for so long that this feels almost surreal. This is a calling I take with the highest respect and responsibility and feel so unworthy of this great honor.
I also get to go to Bartlesville, OK this weekend to meet the church and staff of Abundant Life Church and discuss their children's pastor position! I am anxiously awaiting the Lord's direction and cannot wait to see where He leads.
So, in a nutshell, life is nothing like I expected it to be, but I am so thankful that I have a God who knows better than I what I need. I feel refreshed and charged after a very emotional last few months before school ended. Evangel and my friends are very much in my heart, and I cannot wait to see where God leads us all. I am thankful that distance does not have to determine the closeness and strength of a relationship. In fact, I am happy that it has made them stronger.
So here I am...blessed and thankful and continually reveling in the greatness of God's plan.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Saturday, June 11, 2011
To You
To You:
Who never quit believing in my potential in spite of all of my many flaws.
Who listens with open ears and open arms.
Who laughs with me and cries with me.
Who doesn't judge me based on who I was but is proud of who I am becoming.
Who laughs at every awkward and ridiculous moment I have ever had.
Who rejoices with me even in the little things.
Who understands me better than I sometimes understand myself.
Who has had a serious investment in my life.
Who has grown with me and watched me grow over the past several years.
Who has helped me overcome so many of my fears.
Who has been honest with me even if it was hard.
Who has not been afraid to challenge me to not settle or merely get by.
Who has taught me the importance of perseverance.
Who has listened to me talk about my heart for kids and women.
Who has taught me to be patient.
Who has taught me to love unconditionally.
Who has shown me the importance of God as my source and no one else.
Who has merely been.
Thank you. There are so many more that I could add to this list, but I think you get the gist. I have been blessed beyond measure with some of the most wonderful and Godly friends I could have ever imagined. This past week has really reminded me of that. I am thankful to each and every one of you who has walked this journey of life with me whether it be for a little part or large. God has shown me His love through so many of you, and you have been some of the greatest hands and feet I have ever known. Thank you for taking the time to believe in me. Know that I will always, always believe in you.
These past few weeks have also been exciting in that two of my dear friends have gotten engaged:
Alina is my best friend and sister even if not by blood. We have been through thick and thin together for the past 4 years, and her life is such a blessing. She just got engaged to a pretty awesome guy named Jonathan, and I cannot wait to see how God uses and blesses their marriage. I feel honored and privileged that I get to share in their special day. In all honesty, if Alina hadn't allowed God to use her in the way that she had, I would not be the young lady that I am today. I am thankful to the Lord for the incredible gift she is and am so excited to see the start of her and Jonathan's life together. Words cannot adequately express all that this wonderful person means to me.
Amy has been one of my closest friends in college. She laughs with me at anything and everything no matter how absolutely dumb it is. Her love of sweet tea and her appreciation of Elvis are two of the things we share in common (along with an unhealthy love of the caffeinated beverage known as coffee). She is getting ready to marry Daniel, and I could honestly not be more excited for them. The happiness she has is contagious, and I also cannot wait to share in their special day. I'm excited to give her one giant hug.
I encourage you to look around you (and not just in close proximity) to the people that God has blessed your life with. Relationships are gifts and gifts that should not be taken lightly. There are so many people in my life that have blessed me tremendously, and to you, know that you have made the difference. God used you in making me who I am today, and I want you to know that I will never forget that. Some of you I have only known for 6 months to a year, others a couple years or more, and others my whole life (love you family!). However, I am beyond thankful for the gift you have been in my life.
So to you, thank you. I appreciate and love you more than you will ever know.
Who never quit believing in my potential in spite of all of my many flaws.
Who listens with open ears and open arms.
Who laughs with me and cries with me.
Who doesn't judge me based on who I was but is proud of who I am becoming.
Who laughs at every awkward and ridiculous moment I have ever had.
Who rejoices with me even in the little things.
Who understands me better than I sometimes understand myself.
Who has had a serious investment in my life.
Who has grown with me and watched me grow over the past several years.
Who has helped me overcome so many of my fears.
Who has been honest with me even if it was hard.
Who has not been afraid to challenge me to not settle or merely get by.
Who has taught me the importance of perseverance.
Who has listened to me talk about my heart for kids and women.
Who has taught me to be patient.
Who has taught me to love unconditionally.
Who has shown me the importance of God as my source and no one else.
Who has merely been.
Thank you. There are so many more that I could add to this list, but I think you get the gist. I have been blessed beyond measure with some of the most wonderful and Godly friends I could have ever imagined. This past week has really reminded me of that. I am thankful to each and every one of you who has walked this journey of life with me whether it be for a little part or large. God has shown me His love through so many of you, and you have been some of the greatest hands and feet I have ever known. Thank you for taking the time to believe in me. Know that I will always, always believe in you.
These past few weeks have also been exciting in that two of my dear friends have gotten engaged:
Alina is my best friend and sister even if not by blood. We have been through thick and thin together for the past 4 years, and her life is such a blessing. She just got engaged to a pretty awesome guy named Jonathan, and I cannot wait to see how God uses and blesses their marriage. I feel honored and privileged that I get to share in their special day. In all honesty, if Alina hadn't allowed God to use her in the way that she had, I would not be the young lady that I am today. I am thankful to the Lord for the incredible gift she is and am so excited to see the start of her and Jonathan's life together. Words cannot adequately express all that this wonderful person means to me.
Amy has been one of my closest friends in college. She laughs with me at anything and everything no matter how absolutely dumb it is. Her love of sweet tea and her appreciation of Elvis are two of the things we share in common (along with an unhealthy love of the caffeinated beverage known as coffee). She is getting ready to marry Daniel, and I could honestly not be more excited for them. The happiness she has is contagious, and I also cannot wait to share in their special day. I'm excited to give her one giant hug.
I encourage you to look around you (and not just in close proximity) to the people that God has blessed your life with. Relationships are gifts and gifts that should not be taken lightly. There are so many people in my life that have blessed me tremendously, and to you, know that you have made the difference. God used you in making me who I am today, and I want you to know that I will never forget that. Some of you I have only known for 6 months to a year, others a couple years or more, and others my whole life (love you family!). However, I am beyond thankful for the gift you have been in my life.
So to you, thank you. I appreciate and love you more than you will ever know.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Waiting
Transition...waiting...stuff I am not necessarily very good at.
I'm in Wichita, KS for a reason, and I have discovered what part of this reason is. As I have been surrounded with some amazing people once again, I remember why I love them as much as I do. It's amazing how much God provides even when you're not expecting it.
My heart does miss my Evangel friends, and I know that it will. This was such a special time to me, but I am in eager anticipation of discovering the meaning in my transition. I know that many of these friendships will go with me for the rest of my life.
Kansas. The state that is flatter than flat. However, God has blessed us with some pretty remarkable sunsets. As I walk the neighborhoods at sunset, I feel as though God reminds me that His beauty is everywhere...in every moment. I have started going on walks at sunset, and it is one of the most calming and enjoyable experiences. As much as I pick on the good 'ol sunflower state, God's beauty isn't just limited to places like the East Coast or Europe...His beauty is surrounding. You just have to be open to seeing it.
I have begun sending out applications and resumes, and some doors have already been shut in my face. But one of the many things that I appreciate the most about my relationship with the Lord is He is always pretty quick to tell me when one decision isn't the best for me...however, on the flip side, He has absolutely no problem making me wait for the right one. ;)
In this period of waiting, I have learned the absolute necessity of rest. I am such a busy body. I like being everywhere all the time without stopping. Sleep gets in the way of my social time. However, God has revealed Himself to me in ways that I don't think I would've been so aware of walking around like a zombie. So as I sit in waiting, I get to enjoy the people that God has put around me here (while still getting to talk to so many of those that I love that are not) and marvel at His greatness and beauty in a state that many people just look over. No, I don't want to live here for the rest of my life, but I know that God has something for me while I'm here, and I don't want to miss out just because I'm getting antsy to get out there and go.
Waiting is a time for growth and a time for opportunity, and I pray that I always keep this mind set. God does not keep us in waiting to punish us but to teach us the beauty of His grace and that He is indeed faithful. So as I wait for my next step, I wait with an open heart. I will not just bide time while I am here, but I will make the most of every God-given moment. I will see His beauty in all that life has to offer. I will treasure my moments.
I'm thankful that the Lord is letting me travel some in the upcoming weeks. He's letting my itchy feet get a little road under them. :)
However, as I wait, I am excited to learn.
Don't put God in a box. It's rather fun to let Him surprise you.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
I'm in Wichita, KS for a reason, and I have discovered what part of this reason is. As I have been surrounded with some amazing people once again, I remember why I love them as much as I do. It's amazing how much God provides even when you're not expecting it.
My heart does miss my Evangel friends, and I know that it will. This was such a special time to me, but I am in eager anticipation of discovering the meaning in my transition. I know that many of these friendships will go with me for the rest of my life.
Kansas. The state that is flatter than flat. However, God has blessed us with some pretty remarkable sunsets. As I walk the neighborhoods at sunset, I feel as though God reminds me that His beauty is everywhere...in every moment. I have started going on walks at sunset, and it is one of the most calming and enjoyable experiences. As much as I pick on the good 'ol sunflower state, God's beauty isn't just limited to places like the East Coast or Europe...His beauty is surrounding. You just have to be open to seeing it.
I have begun sending out applications and resumes, and some doors have already been shut in my face. But one of the many things that I appreciate the most about my relationship with the Lord is He is always pretty quick to tell me when one decision isn't the best for me...however, on the flip side, He has absolutely no problem making me wait for the right one. ;)
In this period of waiting, I have learned the absolute necessity of rest. I am such a busy body. I like being everywhere all the time without stopping. Sleep gets in the way of my social time. However, God has revealed Himself to me in ways that I don't think I would've been so aware of walking around like a zombie. So as I sit in waiting, I get to enjoy the people that God has put around me here (while still getting to talk to so many of those that I love that are not) and marvel at His greatness and beauty in a state that many people just look over. No, I don't want to live here for the rest of my life, but I know that God has something for me while I'm here, and I don't want to miss out just because I'm getting antsy to get out there and go.
Waiting is a time for growth and a time for opportunity, and I pray that I always keep this mind set. God does not keep us in waiting to punish us but to teach us the beauty of His grace and that He is indeed faithful. So as I wait for my next step, I wait with an open heart. I will not just bide time while I am here, but I will make the most of every God-given moment. I will see His beauty in all that life has to offer. I will treasure my moments.
I'm thankful that the Lord is letting me travel some in the upcoming weeks. He's letting my itchy feet get a little road under them. :)
However, as I wait, I am excited to learn.
Don't put God in a box. It's rather fun to let Him surprise you.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Friday, May 13, 2011
Surging Ahead
Graduation has come and gone. I am officially a graduate of Evangel University. Weird.
Last week was definitely one of the most emotional experiences of my life: joy, sadness, excitement, anxiousness, etc. The spectrum was absolutely insane. However, I wouldn't change a moment of it for anything.
In this process, God has taught me rest...and rest in Him. This week has proved to be a constant reminder of His love and mercy in my life. As I've been at home and reflecting, peace has been ever present.
The past four years at Evangel are four years that I will treasure for the rest of my life. The friendships I have made and the lessons learned are absolutely irreplaceable. I am humbled by all that Evangel meant and will continue to mean. However, as one of my good friends so wonderfully reminded me, this is a time to go out in peace because God has not forgotten about me. His plans are absolutely and 100% perfect, and I cannot wait to see what those may be.
This week is application week. As I send out my resume to ministries all over the country and begin the process to apply for my credentials (Ah!!!!!!), I continue to surrender any and all plan. This is the most recklessly abandoned I have ever felt in my entire life, and it is kind of exciting. I have such joy and such eager anticipation for what my future holds.
As I am still awake at almost 2 in the morning, my mind races with possibilities - with dreams. My dreams for inner-city, women's ministry, children, traveling and speaking, music, relationship building, being a wife and a mom, and so many others still burn a fire in my heart. As God continues to grow my passion for Him and His calling, I pray that I continually surrender my will to His. As I know He has made me a mega dreamer for a reason, it's kind of fun to sit and think about the puzzle pieces.
As I reflect on Evangel University, I am given a sense of hope. That was only a chapter, and what an amazing chapter it was. The rest of my story is full of so many more exciting adventures. I'm ready to start the rest of my life. Look out world. I'm ready to shake you up for Jesus.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Last week was definitely one of the most emotional experiences of my life: joy, sadness, excitement, anxiousness, etc. The spectrum was absolutely insane. However, I wouldn't change a moment of it for anything.
In this process, God has taught me rest...and rest in Him. This week has proved to be a constant reminder of His love and mercy in my life. As I've been at home and reflecting, peace has been ever present.
The past four years at Evangel are four years that I will treasure for the rest of my life. The friendships I have made and the lessons learned are absolutely irreplaceable. I am humbled by all that Evangel meant and will continue to mean. However, as one of my good friends so wonderfully reminded me, this is a time to go out in peace because God has not forgotten about me. His plans are absolutely and 100% perfect, and I cannot wait to see what those may be.
This week is application week. As I send out my resume to ministries all over the country and begin the process to apply for my credentials (Ah!!!!!!), I continue to surrender any and all plan. This is the most recklessly abandoned I have ever felt in my entire life, and it is kind of exciting. I have such joy and such eager anticipation for what my future holds.
As I am still awake at almost 2 in the morning, my mind races with possibilities - with dreams. My dreams for inner-city, women's ministry, children, traveling and speaking, music, relationship building, being a wife and a mom, and so many others still burn a fire in my heart. As God continues to grow my passion for Him and His calling, I pray that I continually surrender my will to His. As I know He has made me a mega dreamer for a reason, it's kind of fun to sit and think about the puzzle pieces.
As I reflect on Evangel University, I am given a sense of hope. That was only a chapter, and what an amazing chapter it was. The rest of my story is full of so many more exciting adventures. I'm ready to start the rest of my life. Look out world. I'm ready to shake you up for Jesus.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Saturday, April 23, 2011
See You Later
The countdown is on...less than two weeks until graduation...oh my lanta...
I have begun to feel every last emotion under the sun: joy, sadness, excitement, wonder, etc. This week has been a lot of "lasts" for me. Tuesday I passed on my Crosswalk position. It was a wonderful evening even though a little difficult. I am officially no longer the Assistant Director of Children's Ministries, and that is kind of a strange concept for me. Two years of my life have been committed to this ministry and a wonderful group of people. I would not know nearly all of the people that I know without Crosswalk. What a blessing that God uses positions like these as great opportunities. It was also my last Children's Ministries get together. My team all signed a card for me and gave me various words of affirmation and encouragement. Yes, I cried. This should not be a surprise to anyone. While I am super excited for what God has for the future, it is hard to see this chapter come to a close.
Hangouts, balancing acts, treasuring moments...these are all just a few of the things I have in the upcoming two weeks. I am embracing every feeling.
Yesterday was Good Friday, and I could not be more thankful for the gift of the cross. Watching The Passion of the Christ again really just reminded me of how great a cost it really was. Wow. I am blessed that I got to watch this movie with friends for the past two years.
Friends. How great they are. As graduation nears, I have promised that I will never say "good-bye." I hate that phrase. HATE IT. I have never believed in good-byes, and I am definitely not planning on starting now. One of the many cool things about being Christians is that we get to spend all eternity with each other.
Instead of saying good-bye, I will tell each and every one of you see you later. Things shift. Things change. Time moves on. However, the people I have been privileged to meet in college are people that definitely have made their mark on my heart and my life. God blesses us everyday with opportunities, and Evangel has provided several.
Yeah, there will be tears. I am one of the biggest criers I know, and that is a-ok! Closing of chapters is never easy, but it is a necessary process of life. And with the closing of one begins a whole new and exciting other. For us seniors, life is just getting started, and I cannot wait to see where God takes each and every one of us.
So, to my dear Evangel friends, don't think this is the end. Technology is a wonderful blessing. I love you all more than words can say and am blessed by your friendship. As I hug you before we all depart, know one thing. I will definitely see you later.
Love you all,
Em
I have begun to feel every last emotion under the sun: joy, sadness, excitement, wonder, etc. This week has been a lot of "lasts" for me. Tuesday I passed on my Crosswalk position. It was a wonderful evening even though a little difficult. I am officially no longer the Assistant Director of Children's Ministries, and that is kind of a strange concept for me. Two years of my life have been committed to this ministry and a wonderful group of people. I would not know nearly all of the people that I know without Crosswalk. What a blessing that God uses positions like these as great opportunities. It was also my last Children's Ministries get together. My team all signed a card for me and gave me various words of affirmation and encouragement. Yes, I cried. This should not be a surprise to anyone. While I am super excited for what God has for the future, it is hard to see this chapter come to a close.
Hangouts, balancing acts, treasuring moments...these are all just a few of the things I have in the upcoming two weeks. I am embracing every feeling.
Yesterday was Good Friday, and I could not be more thankful for the gift of the cross. Watching The Passion of the Christ again really just reminded me of how great a cost it really was. Wow. I am blessed that I got to watch this movie with friends for the past two years.
Friends. How great they are. As graduation nears, I have promised that I will never say "good-bye." I hate that phrase. HATE IT. I have never believed in good-byes, and I am definitely not planning on starting now. One of the many cool things about being Christians is that we get to spend all eternity with each other.
Instead of saying good-bye, I will tell each and every one of you see you later. Things shift. Things change. Time moves on. However, the people I have been privileged to meet in college are people that definitely have made their mark on my heart and my life. God blesses us everyday with opportunities, and Evangel has provided several.
Yeah, there will be tears. I am one of the biggest criers I know, and that is a-ok! Closing of chapters is never easy, but it is a necessary process of life. And with the closing of one begins a whole new and exciting other. For us seniors, life is just getting started, and I cannot wait to see where God takes each and every one of us.
So, to my dear Evangel friends, don't think this is the end. Technology is a wonderful blessing. I love you all more than words can say and am blessed by your friendship. As I hug you before we all depart, know one thing. I will definitely see you later.
Love you all,
Em
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Unexpected Blessings
This past week has been nothing short of incredible. It has been amazing to see how God has worked in and through my life because I surrendered.
Let me just tell you all a little story.
So, I was given the absolute AMAZING opportunity to dine with the Board of Directors and the President of our campus this past Friday.
There's God doing that humbling thing again...
Well, I didn't exactly have anything super snazzy to wear to this thing, but I wanted to be impressive. It was such an amazing honor to get to go to this luncheon, and I wanted to look like I belonged there.
And it was in this that I was completely and totally blessed.
Being at Evangel has opened so many great doors for mentorship and relationship building. One of these great mentors has been my leadership professor, Dr. Alina Lehnert.
In discussing with her that I was eating with the Board and the President, she asked me what I was going to wear. I wondered this very same thing myself. She informed me that I needed a business suit and gave me a list of places to go. Once I found something, she asked that I put it on hold.
So, on Wednesday of this week, I went browsing. Once I hit JC Penny's, I found an awesome deal and a suit that worked well for what I needed. So doing what she asked, I placed it on hold.
Then the blessing took place.
The next day, she asked me to come to her office after class. Once we were both in there, she shut the door and pulled off the suit that I had put on hold.
She had bought it for me. It was exactly what I had needed, and she was there in that need.
Dr. Lehnert hugged me and told me how much she believes in me. Trying to choke back tears, I knew nothing else but to thank her (even though this seemed anything short of adequate.)
She invested in me. She believes in me. And now, I have a business suit. Not only that, but she blessed me with a dress.
It amazes me every day how God can put such wonderful people into your life to invest and believe in you. I don't think she fully realizes how much that meant to me, but it completely touched my heart. This is one of those circumstances that I will never forget. She told me that some day I would be able to buy some young lady a suit and that I could continue to pay it forward.
I cannot wait for that opportunity.
The luncheon went fantastically, and I was given even more incredible opportunities. In fact, I really can't wait to see where God takes me in some of these encounters. More to come. I'll keep ya posted. :)
God is so faithful, and I am learning how wonderful it is when we surrender our will to the will of the Father.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Let me just tell you all a little story.
So, I was given the absolute AMAZING opportunity to dine with the Board of Directors and the President of our campus this past Friday.
There's God doing that humbling thing again...
Well, I didn't exactly have anything super snazzy to wear to this thing, but I wanted to be impressive. It was such an amazing honor to get to go to this luncheon, and I wanted to look like I belonged there.
And it was in this that I was completely and totally blessed.
Being at Evangel has opened so many great doors for mentorship and relationship building. One of these great mentors has been my leadership professor, Dr. Alina Lehnert.
In discussing with her that I was eating with the Board and the President, she asked me what I was going to wear. I wondered this very same thing myself. She informed me that I needed a business suit and gave me a list of places to go. Once I found something, she asked that I put it on hold.
So, on Wednesday of this week, I went browsing. Once I hit JC Penny's, I found an awesome deal and a suit that worked well for what I needed. So doing what she asked, I placed it on hold.
Then the blessing took place.
The next day, she asked me to come to her office after class. Once we were both in there, she shut the door and pulled off the suit that I had put on hold.
She had bought it for me. It was exactly what I had needed, and she was there in that need.
Dr. Lehnert hugged me and told me how much she believes in me. Trying to choke back tears, I knew nothing else but to thank her (even though this seemed anything short of adequate.)
She invested in me. She believes in me. And now, I have a business suit. Not only that, but she blessed me with a dress.
It amazes me every day how God can put such wonderful people into your life to invest and believe in you. I don't think she fully realizes how much that meant to me, but it completely touched my heart. This is one of those circumstances that I will never forget. She told me that some day I would be able to buy some young lady a suit and that I could continue to pay it forward.
I cannot wait for that opportunity.
The luncheon went fantastically, and I was given even more incredible opportunities. In fact, I really can't wait to see where God takes me in some of these encounters. More to come. I'll keep ya posted. :)
God is so faithful, and I am learning how wonderful it is when we surrender our will to the will of the Father.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Friday, April 1, 2011
A Change of Plans
As some of you know, I am no longer going back to Memphis for the summer.
Trust me. This shocked me too.
As I stood at the Black sea, God told me no. He told me no to every single plan I have ever had for the past 21 years of my life. And let me tell you...it has been completely liberating.
For the first time ever, I no longer have a plan. Of course, I still have my dreams and aspirations. I dream of being able to go back to Romania and doing ministry. I dream of seeing Roxana again. Being on the east coast would bring my heart so much joy. I would get to see Steph and many of my Evangel friends. (And I know I will see these people again.) However, it is not about my plan. It's about God's.
This feeling, while liberating, is also completely scary. As I send out applications this weekend and work on my resume, I can only sit and wait to see where God leads me next. The lesson I am learning is that God's plans turn out millions of times better than mine ever could or would.
So what is my plan right now? Surrender. God asked me to surrender every single plan I have to Him while I was in Romania. Let's be honest; He's been asking me to do this for years. It just took me awhile to listen. In Romania, I had absolutely no plan. I worked off of everyone else's. While I was the student leader, I completely took a back seat and watched as God worked wonders because I finally let go. As He opened doors and brought people into my life, I realized just how fun and exciting (even though sometimes challenging) His plans are.
God knows the desires of my heart because they are desires that He has given me. I have a desire to do ministry, in whatever capacity that may be.
So, no more Memphis. As hard as this decision is, I know it's the right one. As I sit at my desk, I can see the faces of my kids in the pictures on my wall. As I look at their faces, I know that they are no longer mine to watch over. They never have been. God chose to use me to minister into their lives, and I know He will send someone else in my place. I can always pray for them, and I always will. But it is time, in some sense, to let my babies go. They will always be my babies, but God is moving me in a new and exciting direction.
I am gearing up for the ride of my life. I will keep you posted as I know more. I'm trusting completely. I surrender my life to my Master's plan.
Love you guys,
Em
Trust me. This shocked me too.
As I stood at the Black sea, God told me no. He told me no to every single plan I have ever had for the past 21 years of my life. And let me tell you...it has been completely liberating.
For the first time ever, I no longer have a plan. Of course, I still have my dreams and aspirations. I dream of being able to go back to Romania and doing ministry. I dream of seeing Roxana again. Being on the east coast would bring my heart so much joy. I would get to see Steph and many of my Evangel friends. (And I know I will see these people again.) However, it is not about my plan. It's about God's.
This feeling, while liberating, is also completely scary. As I send out applications this weekend and work on my resume, I can only sit and wait to see where God leads me next. The lesson I am learning is that God's plans turn out millions of times better than mine ever could or would.
So what is my plan right now? Surrender. God asked me to surrender every single plan I have to Him while I was in Romania. Let's be honest; He's been asking me to do this for years. It just took me awhile to listen. In Romania, I had absolutely no plan. I worked off of everyone else's. While I was the student leader, I completely took a back seat and watched as God worked wonders because I finally let go. As He opened doors and brought people into my life, I realized just how fun and exciting (even though sometimes challenging) His plans are.
God knows the desires of my heart because they are desires that He has given me. I have a desire to do ministry, in whatever capacity that may be.
So, no more Memphis. As hard as this decision is, I know it's the right one. As I sit at my desk, I can see the faces of my kids in the pictures on my wall. As I look at their faces, I know that they are no longer mine to watch over. They never have been. God chose to use me to minister into their lives, and I know He will send someone else in my place. I can always pray for them, and I always will. But it is time, in some sense, to let my babies go. They will always be my babies, but God is moving me in a new and exciting direction.
I am gearing up for the ride of my life. I will keep you posted as I know more. I'm trusting completely. I surrender my life to my Master's plan.
Love you guys,
Em
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Romania
It is 2:00 a.m. here in wonderful Springfield, MO, and my body is completely exhausted. However, my mind runs rampant with thoughts about Romania. It is 9 a.m. there, and I already miss it dearly.
This trip was definitely relational.
You think I would get used to God surprising me but He always catches me off-guard.
I went on this trip with 5 other wonderful students and one amazing faculty sponsor not really knowing what to expect. Boy did God rock my world.
While in Romania, our team was able to combine with another team from Valley Forge to do ministry. I will admit that I was quite skeptical but was happily surprised by how well we worked together. We did kids programs at many villages, handicap hospitals, and churches. We did ministry with women as well through testimony, song, and interaction.
Can we talk about how excited I was that I got to do both women AND kid's ministry...two of the things I want to do for the rest of my life?? I was stinking excited.
The first night we were there, God allowed me to be put outside of my comfort zone.
I got to sing.
One of the members of my team, Lexi, suggested that I sing Mighty to Save as I was frantically trying to figure out what would be good. We were in a tiny Romanian apartment with about 5 women and here I was getting ready to sing. My nerves were definitely very present. However, as I began, I closed my eyes and let God envelop me. I was worshiping. It was just me and the big man upstairs.
And let me tell you, it was awesome. God used me...little old me...to minister to these ladies. My voice is not mine to brag about because God totally gave me the talent. It's His to use, and my biggest dream of using it to bring glory and honor to His name came true.
Wow. Humbled yet again.
The children were precious. Even though I could only say hi in their language, a smile carries a thousand words. We would play thumb wars and hug. While the frustration of not being able to speak their language was definitely present, God works through any and all barriers. I got to be a crazy, wacky scientist named Dr. Lupa and bring smile and laughter to their lives. A child's laugh is irreplaceable.
Not only was I able to minister, but I was ministered to. God brought two very unexpected individuals into my life during this trip: Steph and Roxana.
Steph is a senior at Valley Forge. Much like myself, she has no idea where May will bring her. But her life is a testimony to the greatness of God. She has been diagnosed with Lupus and Crohne's Disease but you would never know it. The girl radiates joy and beauty. She encourages me by just how much she brings God glory through her life. Her friendship has blessed me immensely and words cannot even describe how thankful I am to have met her. I cannot wait until I get to see her again.
Then there is Roxana. She is Romanian and the husband of one of the men we worked with all week. She is absolutely beautiful. By the end of the week, she had told me that I was her sister from another mother. Thank the Lord she could speak English. Her sense of humor always kept me smiling. I loved every minute of being around her and pray with all of my heart that the Lord allows our paths to cross again. I feel like this is only the start of our friendship and being thousands of miles away will not keep God from doing what He wants. I would love to learn more of her heart. She definitely blessed my life.
Not to mention, we had an absolutely amazing faculty sponsor. Annie Bailey is an RD here on campus and an amazing individual. She's like the big sister I never had. I am so thankful I have the next two months to learn from her while I am still in Springfield. She is an amazing woman of God, and I am so thankful that I have gotten to know her. I kinda wonder where she was for the past two years of my college career, but God's timing is always divine.
I am currently praying about returning in August with Sarah Taylor (who is also quite the wonderful person.) I love Romania.
The mountains were beautiful. As we made our drive, I couldn't help but marvel at the creativity of God. They were so majestic and beautiful and only gave a hint of the beauty of our God. Looking at those mountains made me remember the strength of our God. It's amazing what you can miss when you are not looking.
Then there's the ocean. As we were at the Black Sea, I could not help but marvel at the vastness. As I stood at a look out point, I felt the peace of God encapsulate my heart. The waves crashed against the rocks in front of me, and I again felt compelled to sing. It was the closest feeling I have had to my actual dream, and it was perfect. In that moment, it was me and God. Nothing and no one else.
My mind still races with thoughts. This trip was nothing short of amazing. God is incredible, and I am so thankful that I go the chance to go. Thank you to everyone who prayed and supported me. God definitely worked in amazing ways.
I hope I can go back. I loved the kids, I loved the people, and I loved what I learned.
I cannot wait to see what else God teaches me as I continue to process one of the most amazing weeks of my life.
Until next time, I will leave you with this picture of the beauty of the mountains.
Never forget to see the beauty in God's creation. He's pretty mighty, and it's amazing how He will use you if you just take the time to stop and listen.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
This trip was definitely relational.
You think I would get used to God surprising me but He always catches me off-guard.
I went on this trip with 5 other wonderful students and one amazing faculty sponsor not really knowing what to expect. Boy did God rock my world.
While in Romania, our team was able to combine with another team from Valley Forge to do ministry. I will admit that I was quite skeptical but was happily surprised by how well we worked together. We did kids programs at many villages, handicap hospitals, and churches. We did ministry with women as well through testimony, song, and interaction.
Can we talk about how excited I was that I got to do both women AND kid's ministry...two of the things I want to do for the rest of my life?? I was stinking excited.
The first night we were there, God allowed me to be put outside of my comfort zone.
I got to sing.
One of the members of my team, Lexi, suggested that I sing Mighty to Save as I was frantically trying to figure out what would be good. We were in a tiny Romanian apartment with about 5 women and here I was getting ready to sing. My nerves were definitely very present. However, as I began, I closed my eyes and let God envelop me. I was worshiping. It was just me and the big man upstairs.
And let me tell you, it was awesome. God used me...little old me...to minister to these ladies. My voice is not mine to brag about because God totally gave me the talent. It's His to use, and my biggest dream of using it to bring glory and honor to His name came true.
Wow. Humbled yet again.
The children were precious. Even though I could only say hi in their language, a smile carries a thousand words. We would play thumb wars and hug. While the frustration of not being able to speak their language was definitely present, God works through any and all barriers. I got to be a crazy, wacky scientist named Dr. Lupa and bring smile and laughter to their lives. A child's laugh is irreplaceable.
Not only was I able to minister, but I was ministered to. God brought two very unexpected individuals into my life during this trip: Steph and Roxana.
Steph is a senior at Valley Forge. Much like myself, she has no idea where May will bring her. But her life is a testimony to the greatness of God. She has been diagnosed with Lupus and Crohne's Disease but you would never know it. The girl radiates joy and beauty. She encourages me by just how much she brings God glory through her life. Her friendship has blessed me immensely and words cannot even describe how thankful I am to have met her. I cannot wait until I get to see her again.
Then there is Roxana. She is Romanian and the husband of one of the men we worked with all week. She is absolutely beautiful. By the end of the week, she had told me that I was her sister from another mother. Thank the Lord she could speak English. Her sense of humor always kept me smiling. I loved every minute of being around her and pray with all of my heart that the Lord allows our paths to cross again. I feel like this is only the start of our friendship and being thousands of miles away will not keep God from doing what He wants. I would love to learn more of her heart. She definitely blessed my life.
Not to mention, we had an absolutely amazing faculty sponsor. Annie Bailey is an RD here on campus and an amazing individual. She's like the big sister I never had. I am so thankful I have the next two months to learn from her while I am still in Springfield. She is an amazing woman of God, and I am so thankful that I have gotten to know her. I kinda wonder where she was for the past two years of my college career, but God's timing is always divine.
I am currently praying about returning in August with Sarah Taylor (who is also quite the wonderful person.) I love Romania.
The mountains were beautiful. As we made our drive, I couldn't help but marvel at the creativity of God. They were so majestic and beautiful and only gave a hint of the beauty of our God. Looking at those mountains made me remember the strength of our God. It's amazing what you can miss when you are not looking.
Then there's the ocean. As we were at the Black Sea, I could not help but marvel at the vastness. As I stood at a look out point, I felt the peace of God encapsulate my heart. The waves crashed against the rocks in front of me, and I again felt compelled to sing. It was the closest feeling I have had to my actual dream, and it was perfect. In that moment, it was me and God. Nothing and no one else.
My mind still races with thoughts. This trip was nothing short of amazing. God is incredible, and I am so thankful that I go the chance to go. Thank you to everyone who prayed and supported me. God definitely worked in amazing ways.
I hope I can go back. I loved the kids, I loved the people, and I loved what I learned.
I cannot wait to see what else God teaches me as I continue to process one of the most amazing weeks of my life.
Until next time, I will leave you with this picture of the beauty of the mountains.
Never forget to see the beauty in God's creation. He's pretty mighty, and it's amazing how He will use you if you just take the time to stop and listen.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Inspiration
It has been almost 2 months since the last time I blogged.
However, I am inspired to write.
I am halfway through my final semester. Where did the time go? It has been an incredible semester so far to say the least. God has grown and blossomed some even more amazing friendships within good old Burgess hall that I was not even expecting. He has also placed before me an amazing amount of opportunity.
There has also been a lot of growing.
Growing is painful. In a lot of ways, it almost feels like God is physically pulling out all that crap in your life. But this is a process I am extremely grateful for. I am thankful to follow a God who cares enough about me to see growth and positive change in my life. I am not my own. My life is definitely surrendered to the hands of my King.
Growing also takes time. If I have learned nothing else about our society, it is that we are a want and want it all now kind of people. But change doesn't just happen over night. The process itself can be a great faith builder if you allow it to be. I challenge you to look back over your life and see where God has taught you some of your greatest lessons. For me, the lessons I appreciate the most are the ones that took time. It's not because I like things to move slow. (If any of you know me at all, you will know how extremely impatient I am.) It's because I love seeing the individual steps and paths that God led me down. You don't always understand life as it's happening. I guess that's one of the reasons that they say hind-sight is 20/20. Seasons of life are not always easy, nor do they always make sense. But our God is a God of love. He won't abandon us. And just as the scriptures say, He will never give us more than we can bear.
For you seniors out there, really take the time to enjoy the present. Graduation is coming soon, but we have to make the next two months count. Yes, we will all have our moments of nostalgia and the feelings that are oh so bittersweet. But let's really see what God has to offer us in these last two months. Let's be intentional in all that we do. And don't worry about time. God will walk us through this like He has walked us through everything else. Enjoy what we have.
And don't quit growing. Spring Break is a wonderful time to reflect. I will be in Romania, so I can't wait to see what God is going to do with our team! However, I do have a nice nine-hour flight, and it will be good to look back over these past few months to see how God has revealed Himself in my life.
Also, don't miss opportunity. There are so many opportunities knocking at all our doors right now. Don't be afraid to step out in faith when God opens a door. Life is meant to be lived, so go out there and live it.
Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Live.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
However, I am inspired to write.
I am halfway through my final semester. Where did the time go? It has been an incredible semester so far to say the least. God has grown and blossomed some even more amazing friendships within good old Burgess hall that I was not even expecting. He has also placed before me an amazing amount of opportunity.
There has also been a lot of growing.
Growing is painful. In a lot of ways, it almost feels like God is physically pulling out all that crap in your life. But this is a process I am extremely grateful for. I am thankful to follow a God who cares enough about me to see growth and positive change in my life. I am not my own. My life is definitely surrendered to the hands of my King.
Growing also takes time. If I have learned nothing else about our society, it is that we are a want and want it all now kind of people. But change doesn't just happen over night. The process itself can be a great faith builder if you allow it to be. I challenge you to look back over your life and see where God has taught you some of your greatest lessons. For me, the lessons I appreciate the most are the ones that took time. It's not because I like things to move slow. (If any of you know me at all, you will know how extremely impatient I am.) It's because I love seeing the individual steps and paths that God led me down. You don't always understand life as it's happening. I guess that's one of the reasons that they say hind-sight is 20/20. Seasons of life are not always easy, nor do they always make sense. But our God is a God of love. He won't abandon us. And just as the scriptures say, He will never give us more than we can bear.
For you seniors out there, really take the time to enjoy the present. Graduation is coming soon, but we have to make the next two months count. Yes, we will all have our moments of nostalgia and the feelings that are oh so bittersweet. But let's really see what God has to offer us in these last two months. Let's be intentional in all that we do. And don't worry about time. God will walk us through this like He has walked us through everything else. Enjoy what we have.
And don't quit growing. Spring Break is a wonderful time to reflect. I will be in Romania, so I can't wait to see what God is going to do with our team! However, I do have a nice nine-hour flight, and it will be good to look back over these past few months to see how God has revealed Himself in my life.
Also, don't miss opportunity. There are so many opportunities knocking at all our doors right now. Don't be afraid to step out in faith when God opens a door. Life is meant to be lived, so go out there and live it.
Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Live.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
A Piece of My Heart
Memphis, Tennessee.
Who would have known that 5 months later I would still have the same passion and burden for that city. It's amazing the rush of emotion I felt as the skyline came into view. I had had time to reflect on everything the summer had taught and now, about 70 degrees cooler, I was back.
My first thoughts were my kids. Would they remember me? Would they want to see me? Had I had nearly the impact on them as they had on me? What would it be like to walk the streets of club Guernsey once more? All these thoughts bombarded my mind as I began my drive to meet my dear friend Erica who lives in a suburb really close to Memphis.
The next day I got the opportunity to go back to the church that I had worked with all summer. It was amazing to be greeted with so many hugs and smiles on the faces of the people of the congregation. To be there felt completely like home and like it was exactly where I belonged.
That afternoon I began the trek to see my kids. Emotions were high, and I could not help but be completely anxious. It had been 5 months. 5 months since the last time I had held them in my arms and looked at their beautiful faces and heard their precious laughter. 5 months. And 5 months in which I learned a whole lot.
As I saw the first group of kids came pouring out of the house I realized that this is exactly where I belong. In this moment in time, being on those streets and at those houses could not have felt more right. I was greeted by, "you're really here! You came back! Miss Emily is here, Miss Emily is here!!" Their excitement and looks of shock were enough to make you want to cry. They thought I had made their day. They had made mine.
My babies. I got to hug and hold my babies one more time. God granted my wish to let me see them again. When I left Memphis, I told God that I would trust Him to keep and protect them. And He has. In more ways than I could ever comprehend.
The next day, we went back to see more of the kids that weren't home. One of my little ones informed me of how much he has missed me, and his sister asked if she could come with me to the church to do Bible Club. How I longed for the chance to take them all with me. However, I just feel blessed that I got the chance to see them once more.
I don't know what all the future holds for me. I know that my life is an open book, and I am ready for God to write my story page-by-page. I am ready to free-fall into the unknown because He has a plan and purpose for me. I will continue to surrender my wants and desires to be His wants and His desires. I want to be back in Memphis, TN, and if God opens the door, I will happily take it. However, wherever He leads I will follow. If I have learned nothing else it is to not take any opportunity for granted. God gives us many, and I want to take each one He gives.
I cannot wait to see what the future holds.
Here are some pictures of the beautiful and precious babies that they are.
Love you guys,
Em
Who would have known that 5 months later I would still have the same passion and burden for that city. It's amazing the rush of emotion I felt as the skyline came into view. I had had time to reflect on everything the summer had taught and now, about 70 degrees cooler, I was back.
My first thoughts were my kids. Would they remember me? Would they want to see me? Had I had nearly the impact on them as they had on me? What would it be like to walk the streets of club Guernsey once more? All these thoughts bombarded my mind as I began my drive to meet my dear friend Erica who lives in a suburb really close to Memphis.
The next day I got the opportunity to go back to the church that I had worked with all summer. It was amazing to be greeted with so many hugs and smiles on the faces of the people of the congregation. To be there felt completely like home and like it was exactly where I belonged.
That afternoon I began the trek to see my kids. Emotions were high, and I could not help but be completely anxious. It had been 5 months. 5 months since the last time I had held them in my arms and looked at their beautiful faces and heard their precious laughter. 5 months. And 5 months in which I learned a whole lot.
As I saw the first group of kids came pouring out of the house I realized that this is exactly where I belong. In this moment in time, being on those streets and at those houses could not have felt more right. I was greeted by, "you're really here! You came back! Miss Emily is here, Miss Emily is here!!" Their excitement and looks of shock were enough to make you want to cry. They thought I had made their day. They had made mine.
My babies. I got to hug and hold my babies one more time. God granted my wish to let me see them again. When I left Memphis, I told God that I would trust Him to keep and protect them. And He has. In more ways than I could ever comprehend.
The next day, we went back to see more of the kids that weren't home. One of my little ones informed me of how much he has missed me, and his sister asked if she could come with me to the church to do Bible Club. How I longed for the chance to take them all with me. However, I just feel blessed that I got the chance to see them once more.
I don't know what all the future holds for me. I know that my life is an open book, and I am ready for God to write my story page-by-page. I am ready to free-fall into the unknown because He has a plan and purpose for me. I will continue to surrender my wants and desires to be His wants and His desires. I want to be back in Memphis, TN, and if God opens the door, I will happily take it. However, wherever He leads I will follow. If I have learned nothing else it is to not take any opportunity for granted. God gives us many, and I want to take each one He gives.
I cannot wait to see what the future holds.
Here are some pictures of the beautiful and precious babies that they are.
Love you guys,
Em
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