I'm just warning you, as you read this, I will probably jump here, there, and everywhere. But I promise, as always, to hope to have a point.
It's been a while since the last time I've blogged, and God has been doing some crazy cool things in my life.
However, I've been too busy whining to see otherwise. Yes, whining. I will admit when I've been throwing myself a little pity party.
As most of you know, for the past few years I've been feeling a specific call and leading into women's ministry. I feel called to travel and proclaim the truth that so many women cannot navigate past their own bondage to see. And for the past several years, I've just anxiously waited.
There's problem number one - being anxious. In my mind, anxiousness correlates with worrying. I do believe a specific verse talking about not worrying about tomorrow yet over and over again, I find myself being anxious. Out of anxiousness, anger can creep up if not cautious. I've been at my job for a year, and God has been stirring my heart more and more to this passion He's given me.
So here I am. Waiting. And whining.
"God, you've given me this desire and dream, and everywhere I turn there seems to be NOTHING available."
"My dear child, why can't you just trust me? Why can't you be happy in your present? Why can't you do what I've called you to do right now?"
Well, God just has an excellent way of asking us the greatest of questions in which my responses go something like this: "Hm, well, good point. Don't know. Thanks for the spiritual smack."
In speaking with a good friend the other night, I was reminded that there are opportunities to minister to women all over this wonderful (yes, I called Wichita wonderful. Don't die of a heart attack.) city I live in. It's called volunteering. We have shelters, we have homes, we have so many opportunities that I've been too busy ignoring because I couldn't figure out why I didn't feel like God was using all of my skill sets. Hello. I haven't really looked all that hard. So I've been challenged to look into some of these places that need people to volunteer their time and heart to minister.
For some time, I've felt that whatever God called me to do next would prepare me for what I feel is my God-given desire. But why can't I start now? Why can't I go out and speak truth and life into women who live not 15 minutes away? Oh wait, there's no reason I can't.
It's funny how so many times we spend so much time looking at ourselves that we forget to look up.
"But God, why can't I do that? God, what about me?"
I'm feeling more and more challenged to just remember that it is ALL about Him.
In my Bible study, we are reading a book called Lioness Arising by Lisa Bevere. If you are a lady and have not read this book, GET ON IT! I feel more and more passionate because it's opening my eyes to see beyond my small scope. What can I do in my city, in my state, in my world?
It's really easy for me to get so stuck on the big picture that I forget that God has something for me right now.
And again, I was reminded of God's sovereignty in my life. This weekend, I had the great opportunity to go with our youth group to World's of Fun in Kansas City. I got to walk around with some of the greatest girls ever. Well, during this lovely trip, I was able to ride my favorite ride of all time. The Mamba. It brings me never-ending joy (until I get sick, of course). Well, after getting off this ride, I discovered my bag containing my iPhone, debit card, keys, etc. had been stolen. Gone. Snatched. Not to be seen. However, instead of panicking, I just felt peace and the urgency to pray. So I did. And I prayed. One of our other youth sponsor guys graciously walked around with me desperately looking for this horribly colored purple and teal bag (don't judge, it's all I had at home). As I was walking, I felt compelled to look at this diner right by the Mamba. As I turned my head to the edge of the diner, there was my bag. On the ground. Opened. Stuffed with a bunch of leaves. Everything still there. Whoever took my bag had opened my wallet and pulled out my debit card leaving it on top. I did later discover they blessed themselves with a $3 slice of pizza, but hey, I will HAPPILY take that outcome. All of my stuff was still there which is so miraculous. And in that moment I was reminded of one very simple truth; God is still sovereign. So why do I feel the need to complain? Why do I find myself stuck in sometimes very negative attitudes? As most of you know, I'm so happy it drives people nuts on occasion. So this nagging and negativity just DRAINS the ever-loving life out of me. But it is because satan (I still refuse to capitalize his name) wants me to lose sight of my purpose and my perspective - bringing glory and honor to the name of Jesus Christ in whatever and however He asks me to do so.
I know this has been one jumbled train of thought, but it is a thought I felt impressed upon to share. We serve a big God. Let's just not lose sight of what a big God does in the seemingly menial and small.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
