This past weekend could not have been any more perfect. I was once again surrounded by some of my favorite people in the entire world. I got to hug the necks of those I haven't seen in over a year. I even made a new friend.
I am blessed.
As I arrived in Baltimore on Thursday evening, my anticipation was mounting. As I walked out of my gate, the wonderfully familiar face of Laurisha Cotton greeted me. I wanted nothing more than to squeal with joy, but I figured the airport personnel may not like that too much. After a year, I finally got to hug the neck of one of my best friends.
The next day, I got to see a friend I've only spent the span of a week with. Steph is a dear friend I made while in Romania last year, and it is so wonderful to see how God has completely orchestrated every bit of our friendship. I loved being able to hang out with her in a place where everyone speaks English. :)
In the following days, I was reunited with many more of the people who made Evangel what it was for me - home. As I traipsed about DC, played in the water, and hiked my little heart out, I was reminded of why I love these people so much.
On this trip, I also got to pay tribute to a fallen friend. Arlington was flooded with so many people on the weekend of remembering, but I was thankful and honored to have the chance to go and sit at the marker of 1st LT. David Johnson. Nothing but pride bubbled in my heart. He really is a big deal.
I have stories and memories that will last a life time. I'm thankful that no matter what distance there may be, the strength of a relationship doesn't have to change. In fact, most of them have become even stronger.
I cannot even wait until the next time I get to see these amazing people.
So to all my friends, both here at home and far away, thank you for being who you are - absolutely wonderful. I love you guys.
Until my next ramble,
Em
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
One Year
One year.
This Friday marks one year since I graduated from college. Wow. Tomorrow I drive up (or over) to Springfield to watch the commencement ceremonies for the class of 2012. Most of the remainder of my close friends from college will take their turn walking across the stage. I'm already beaming with pride. (Yes, I am like a mother. It happens to the best of us!)
Many of these beloved friends have shared hopes, anxieties, dreams, questions, etc...pretty much any thought that passes through one's head before graduating. As they share the plans and purposes they feel called to, I can't help but think back over my life this past year.
Plans and dreams are wonderful, wonderful things. As has been the case in my life, God is taking me on a much different path to get to these dreams. Let me tell ya, I am so thankful that He is. I am gaining so much needed experience in ways that I never even dreamed of...never even thought of. But isn't that the beauty of God? His plan far surpasses any that we have for ourselves.
God is teaching me to be faithful in the small. When I graduated, I had a much different plan for myself...this plan certainly did not involve working at the District Office for the Kansas Assemblies of God. I was going to be off running around the world by this point. However, I am so thankful that God led me here. There is a whole lot that I didn't know, and I'm so glad God gives time of preparation and rest. I'm glad God is a God of growth. There has certainly been a lot of that since I left the confines of my beloved Evangel. Being where I'm at is beginning to open doors that are leading to my passions, my hopes, and my dreams for the future.
The winds of change are blowing, and I feel mounting anticipation. God is continually preparing my heart for the dreams He has given me...for the plans He has for my life. I'm also thankful that God is a God of confirmation. A few weeks back, our children's pastor shared something I will never forget...a message straight from the Lord. God told her to pass along to me that I am on the right track. GLORY! Oftentimes I find myself wondering, "God, am I doing what I'm supposed to be? Am I listening to you? Am I following your plan?" This was exactly the answer I've been searching for. She also told me that I need to be cautious of the thousands of voices in my head. As long as I keep my eyes fixed on Him, the perfect and unique plan He has for my life will be carried through to full fruition. (I took SOME liberty in the word choice there, but that is the jist.) I'm glad God uses other people to confirm answers to many (not all) of life's questions.
I'm also glad that God provides ministry partners. A dear, dear friend of mine received a vision back in October. This vision was a DIRECT confirmation of everything I have been feeling in my heart over the past couple of years. (Ask if you want the full story!) The funny thing about this confirmation is that I hadn't shared most of what she shared with me from this vision. But EVERYTHING she said, God had been stirring in my heart. It's nice to know that your dreams aren't crazy. :) It's nice to know God puts people on your path that can share in the journey with you...people that can share in your dreams.
I have no idea how God will work anything out, but I am so thankful for how He has worked out the past year. I'm no longer afraid to dream a God dream, but I am also a lot more willing to be patient as He works out every detail. It's nice to know that someone who knows much better than me is in control of my future.
A year ago, I was a little freaked out. Today, I am hopeful. I am eager. I am ready. I am waiting. Today, I am dreaming a God dream.
Until my next ramble,
Em
This Friday marks one year since I graduated from college. Wow. Tomorrow I drive up (or over) to Springfield to watch the commencement ceremonies for the class of 2012. Most of the remainder of my close friends from college will take their turn walking across the stage. I'm already beaming with pride. (Yes, I am like a mother. It happens to the best of us!)
Many of these beloved friends have shared hopes, anxieties, dreams, questions, etc...pretty much any thought that passes through one's head before graduating. As they share the plans and purposes they feel called to, I can't help but think back over my life this past year.
Plans and dreams are wonderful, wonderful things. As has been the case in my life, God is taking me on a much different path to get to these dreams. Let me tell ya, I am so thankful that He is. I am gaining so much needed experience in ways that I never even dreamed of...never even thought of. But isn't that the beauty of God? His plan far surpasses any that we have for ourselves.
God is teaching me to be faithful in the small. When I graduated, I had a much different plan for myself...this plan certainly did not involve working at the District Office for the Kansas Assemblies of God. I was going to be off running around the world by this point. However, I am so thankful that God led me here. There is a whole lot that I didn't know, and I'm so glad God gives time of preparation and rest. I'm glad God is a God of growth. There has certainly been a lot of that since I left the confines of my beloved Evangel. Being where I'm at is beginning to open doors that are leading to my passions, my hopes, and my dreams for the future.
The winds of change are blowing, and I feel mounting anticipation. God is continually preparing my heart for the dreams He has given me...for the plans He has for my life. I'm also thankful that God is a God of confirmation. A few weeks back, our children's pastor shared something I will never forget...a message straight from the Lord. God told her to pass along to me that I am on the right track. GLORY! Oftentimes I find myself wondering, "God, am I doing what I'm supposed to be? Am I listening to you? Am I following your plan?" This was exactly the answer I've been searching for. She also told me that I need to be cautious of the thousands of voices in my head. As long as I keep my eyes fixed on Him, the perfect and unique plan He has for my life will be carried through to full fruition. (I took SOME liberty in the word choice there, but that is the jist.) I'm glad God uses other people to confirm answers to many (not all) of life's questions.
I'm also glad that God provides ministry partners. A dear, dear friend of mine received a vision back in October. This vision was a DIRECT confirmation of everything I have been feeling in my heart over the past couple of years. (Ask if you want the full story!) The funny thing about this confirmation is that I hadn't shared most of what she shared with me from this vision. But EVERYTHING she said, God had been stirring in my heart. It's nice to know that your dreams aren't crazy. :) It's nice to know God puts people on your path that can share in the journey with you...people that can share in your dreams.
I have no idea how God will work anything out, but I am so thankful for how He has worked out the past year. I'm no longer afraid to dream a God dream, but I am also a lot more willing to be patient as He works out every detail. It's nice to know that someone who knows much better than me is in control of my future.
A year ago, I was a little freaked out. Today, I am hopeful. I am eager. I am ready. I am waiting. Today, I am dreaming a God dream.
Until my next ramble,
Em
Thursday, February 16, 2012
What I Don't Know
In the past few weeks I've learned something very valuable: there is a lot I don't know.
At this time last year, I was roughly 2 1/2 months away from graduating. While in Romania, God stirred my heart and began to give me additional dreams of traveling and doing ministry for women in the States and overseas. I was going to send out resumes...I was going to get plugged into one of these so called ministries. I was going to go.
But God had another plan, and boy am I glad He knows me better than I know myself.
God called me home. Lo and behold, a year later, I am heavily involved in Evangel's (my church is also the name of my college...not trying to confuse anyone!) youth ministry which I never even dreamed. God placed in my heart a desire to get involved this summer, and I have found a new love for teenagers that I never EVER thought I would have. I am helping take on some of the preaching responsibilities and getting to help lead the worship team as our youth pastors have been called on to lead a church in New Jersey. I am under some really incredible leadership. We have a great couple (who I also get to work with at the District office) leading this transition time and whether or not these two know it, they are facilitating a great place for me to learn.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am called into full-time, 100%, full blown ministry. I know that God has given me a lot of dreams and desires (especially to travel and speak), and I am really excited to see how that all pans out. I also know that there is a lot I don't know. God has placed me where I am for a reason, and I am so thankful for that. I am thankful for teachers and people willing to invest in my spiritual, emotional, and mental growth. I am thankful for learning. I am thankful that God kept me from diving head first into full-time ministry because I was/am not ready yet. I am thankful for experience and opportunity to show me how to become a better pastor and a better person.
There are a few things God has really instilled in me, and I want to share them with you all:
1) Don't ever stop being teachable. As a young, fresh out of college kid, it was very easy for me to think I had a handle on what God wanted out of me and where I was going to go. Boy did I (and I still do) have a lot to learn. In Proverbs it says "a wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel." I never want to get to the point where I think I have nothing left to learn. I will ALWAYS have something to learn, somewhere to improve. God has surrounded me with some amazing mentors and people who have been in ministry much longer than I certainly have. What an amazing opportunity to learn and grow.
2) Don't be so stuck that you miss out on a God opportunity. Many of you know that I swore off youth ministry at a very early age. Teenagers drove me nuts (and sometimes still do, but hey, I can't help but love 'em), and I wanted no part in their development. Well, thankfully God helped me get over myself and showed me what a great opportunity I had before me. I get to invest in a group of young people. I get to pour into their lives, and they in turn pour into mine. God is showing me His faithfulness and grace through these students' lives, and that is something I am so thankful for. They are teaching me every day, and I am thankful.
3) Trust in God's good and perfect will for your life. Where I am at right now was not in my plan, but I am so glad it was in God's. I am so glad that He knows exactly where I need to be, and I pray that I trust in that every day of my life...no matter where He tells me to go or how He tells me to move. I don't want to get caught up in my own agenda...I want to be caught up in His will. I know that God has given me some grand dreams and desires, and I believe He is working out those dreams in the way He sees best. I know His plan far exceeds my own. I know it's not about me...it's about Him.
I am being bombarded with knowledge. You know, college taught me a lot, but there is something about experience.
I don't know it all, and I am so thankful I don't. But I am excited to keep learning. In 10 years from now, I want to be able to look back at my life and say that I never quit being teachable. I never got stuck. I trusted in God's good and perfect will for my life.
I still believe I am in for the ride of my life. God is mapping out His perfect plan for me.
Thanks for letting me ramble! (Not like you really had a choice, but thanks for reading!)
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
At this time last year, I was roughly 2 1/2 months away from graduating. While in Romania, God stirred my heart and began to give me additional dreams of traveling and doing ministry for women in the States and overseas. I was going to send out resumes...I was going to get plugged into one of these so called ministries. I was going to go.
But God had another plan, and boy am I glad He knows me better than I know myself.
God called me home. Lo and behold, a year later, I am heavily involved in Evangel's (my church is also the name of my college...not trying to confuse anyone!) youth ministry which I never even dreamed. God placed in my heart a desire to get involved this summer, and I have found a new love for teenagers that I never EVER thought I would have. I am helping take on some of the preaching responsibilities and getting to help lead the worship team as our youth pastors have been called on to lead a church in New Jersey. I am under some really incredible leadership. We have a great couple (who I also get to work with at the District office) leading this transition time and whether or not these two know it, they are facilitating a great place for me to learn.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am called into full-time, 100%, full blown ministry. I know that God has given me a lot of dreams and desires (especially to travel and speak), and I am really excited to see how that all pans out. I also know that there is a lot I don't know. God has placed me where I am for a reason, and I am so thankful for that. I am thankful for teachers and people willing to invest in my spiritual, emotional, and mental growth. I am thankful for learning. I am thankful that God kept me from diving head first into full-time ministry because I was/am not ready yet. I am thankful for experience and opportunity to show me how to become a better pastor and a better person.
There are a few things God has really instilled in me, and I want to share them with you all:
1) Don't ever stop being teachable. As a young, fresh out of college kid, it was very easy for me to think I had a handle on what God wanted out of me and where I was going to go. Boy did I (and I still do) have a lot to learn. In Proverbs it says "a wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel." I never want to get to the point where I think I have nothing left to learn. I will ALWAYS have something to learn, somewhere to improve. God has surrounded me with some amazing mentors and people who have been in ministry much longer than I certainly have. What an amazing opportunity to learn and grow.
2) Don't be so stuck that you miss out on a God opportunity. Many of you know that I swore off youth ministry at a very early age. Teenagers drove me nuts (and sometimes still do, but hey, I can't help but love 'em), and I wanted no part in their development. Well, thankfully God helped me get over myself and showed me what a great opportunity I had before me. I get to invest in a group of young people. I get to pour into their lives, and they in turn pour into mine. God is showing me His faithfulness and grace through these students' lives, and that is something I am so thankful for. They are teaching me every day, and I am thankful.
3) Trust in God's good and perfect will for your life. Where I am at right now was not in my plan, but I am so glad it was in God's. I am so glad that He knows exactly where I need to be, and I pray that I trust in that every day of my life...no matter where He tells me to go or how He tells me to move. I don't want to get caught up in my own agenda...I want to be caught up in His will. I know that God has given me some grand dreams and desires, and I believe He is working out those dreams in the way He sees best. I know His plan far exceeds my own. I know it's not about me...it's about Him.
I am being bombarded with knowledge. You know, college taught me a lot, but there is something about experience.
I don't know it all, and I am so thankful I don't. But I am excited to keep learning. In 10 years from now, I want to be able to look back at my life and say that I never quit being teachable. I never got stuck. I trusted in God's good and perfect will for my life.
I still believe I am in for the ride of my life. God is mapping out His perfect plan for me.
Thanks for letting me ramble! (Not like you really had a choice, but thanks for reading!)
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
An Honored Hero
This weekend I made the trek to Mayville, WI with friends Amy and Dan to honor not only a soldier, but a son, a brother, and a friend. A co-worker suggested I blog about the experience of this weekend, and I think that is a really good idea. Words can't possibly encapsulate everything felt and shared this weekend, but I will certainly give it a try.
I didn't quite know what to expect. I've been to plenty of funerals but not for anyone this age...and not for anyone that I really knew like I knew David. David and I were buddies in college. We were on Crosswalk together (which is Evangel's student ministries board). We both worked in the office, and I saw him on pretty much a daily basis. My friend Amy and I spent the majority of our time hacking into his Facebook, hiding his stuff, and just being flat out silly. But, he loved it, and he loved to do it right back. David almost functioned as our big brother, and boy did he get under our skin. However, at the end of the day, you couldn't help but love him.
The community was absolutely incredible. At almost every turn, there was a yellow ribbon honoring David. His name could be seen across many store fronts and signs. Not only was Mayville proud of their son, but the surrounding towns were as well. This community is a family, and they rallied behind the Johnsons in a way that I've never seen before. They carried the burden with them. They reminded me of what the body of Christ should really look like and how it should function. They were extensions of His hands and feet.
This weekend as we reminisced, we definitely felt nothing but love for our friend. We remembered all the times he frustrated us, but more importantly we remembered all the times he made us laugh. Thousands of people walked through that kid's visitation. Thousands. Way to go, David. Way to make an impact.
At his visitation, all the pictures of him just showed his zest and love for life. He looked like such a goober in the majority of his pictures, but that is the David we will remember and love. Also on display were all of the medals he was awarded. He was awarded the Purple Heart, the Bronze Star, and a few other medals. I'm so proud of him. What a huge honor. He was only over there a month, but the impact and leadership he left will go with his family for a lifetime.
There were lots of tears shed for a friend who left too soon. David's mom said that she may not understand, but she trusts in Him. While her son's "vessel was broken and smashed, he is now whole with God." It's words like these that remind me of the hope there is in Christ...the hope we have for eternity spent with Him. His family stood strong in the face of adversity and recounted the life of someone they all hold so dear. His sister Emily touched my heart the most as her broken heart was laid out before us. He definitely left a hole.
The services ended with us going to the Mayville Veteran's Memorial Park where David was presented with the 21 gun salute and a Black Hawk fly over. The American flag was also awarded to his mom. Amy and I joked that David always told us (and everyone he knew) that he was a big deal and the coolest person we knew. Lo and behold, he really was a big deal. He was a big deal because of how he lived his life for Christ. God used him to lead so many others back and to the Lord for the first time. David's mom shared testimonies of the light people had seen in his life. David was a big deal because he decided to let God be a big deal in and through him. I couldn't be more proud of my friend.
It's been almost a year since the last time I saw him, but I will carry the many memories into the future. He showed me what it means to live.
I love you, David Johnson. Thanks for showing us what it means to be like Christ. You'll always be a big deal to me.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
I didn't quite know what to expect. I've been to plenty of funerals but not for anyone this age...and not for anyone that I really knew like I knew David. David and I were buddies in college. We were on Crosswalk together (which is Evangel's student ministries board). We both worked in the office, and I saw him on pretty much a daily basis. My friend Amy and I spent the majority of our time hacking into his Facebook, hiding his stuff, and just being flat out silly. But, he loved it, and he loved to do it right back. David almost functioned as our big brother, and boy did he get under our skin. However, at the end of the day, you couldn't help but love him.
The community was absolutely incredible. At almost every turn, there was a yellow ribbon honoring David. His name could be seen across many store fronts and signs. Not only was Mayville proud of their son, but the surrounding towns were as well. This community is a family, and they rallied behind the Johnsons in a way that I've never seen before. They carried the burden with them. They reminded me of what the body of Christ should really look like and how it should function. They were extensions of His hands and feet.
This weekend as we reminisced, we definitely felt nothing but love for our friend. We remembered all the times he frustrated us, but more importantly we remembered all the times he made us laugh. Thousands of people walked through that kid's visitation. Thousands. Way to go, David. Way to make an impact.
At his visitation, all the pictures of him just showed his zest and love for life. He looked like such a goober in the majority of his pictures, but that is the David we will remember and love. Also on display were all of the medals he was awarded. He was awarded the Purple Heart, the Bronze Star, and a few other medals. I'm so proud of him. What a huge honor. He was only over there a month, but the impact and leadership he left will go with his family for a lifetime.
There were lots of tears shed for a friend who left too soon. David's mom said that she may not understand, but she trusts in Him. While her son's "vessel was broken and smashed, he is now whole with God." It's words like these that remind me of the hope there is in Christ...the hope we have for eternity spent with Him. His family stood strong in the face of adversity and recounted the life of someone they all hold so dear. His sister Emily touched my heart the most as her broken heart was laid out before us. He definitely left a hole.
The services ended with us going to the Mayville Veteran's Memorial Park where David was presented with the 21 gun salute and a Black Hawk fly over. The American flag was also awarded to his mom. Amy and I joked that David always told us (and everyone he knew) that he was a big deal and the coolest person we knew. Lo and behold, he really was a big deal. He was a big deal because of how he lived his life for Christ. God used him to lead so many others back and to the Lord for the first time. David's mom shared testimonies of the light people had seen in his life. David was a big deal because he decided to let God be a big deal in and through him. I couldn't be more proud of my friend.
It's been almost a year since the last time I saw him, but I will carry the many memories into the future. He showed me what it means to live.
I love you, David Johnson. Thanks for showing us what it means to be like Christ. You'll always be a big deal to me.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Peace in the Storm
It has officially been an emotional roller coaster the past four days. I received word on Wednesday that my dear friend David passed away in Afghanistan, and the news hit harder than I could have imagined. I was reminded not only of the frailty of life (David was only 24) but also that every moment spent really is precious.
While there will be a lot of grieving in the weeks and months ahead for those who knew and treasured David, I can also sense a lot of positive reflection on the time spent with him. The kid was ridiculous in more ways than one, but he had a personality that could light up any room. You had a bad day, and you better believe that in one way or another, David would be there to make you smile. While short-lived, he made it count. I will be forever grateful for who he was, because he made the choice to live. David reminds me still of how important it is to really and truly live with everything you have.
In reflecting on his passing, I find how grateful I am for the people God has surrounded me with. It is in these times that God so gently and sweetly reminds you of His goodness and faithfulness when everything around you seems so bleak. It is in moments such as these that He yearns to just wrap us so tightly in His arms and never let go...and it is this peace that I cling to in the time ahead. While I am sad to see David go, I know exactly where he is, and that is so reassuring. There have been many smiles in the past few days while reflecting and reminiscing, and these are the moments I will cherish.
The God of peace is ever present. No matter what the circumstance. Life doesn't always make sense, but I rest knowing that I am in the hand of someone who sees my every need and hears my every cry. It is in these times I feel Him drawing me closer.
Your Heavenly Father hurts with you and for you. How comforting to know that we do not walk this journey alone. How comforting to know that God surrounds us with tangible extensions of His hands and feet. I have seen the love of Christ poured out so graciously in so many of those I have spoken with in the past few days. What a blessing.
There is hope. Hope for the future. Evangel's campus pastor noted that David knew he was a citizen of heaven and a resident here on earth. I cannot wait until that day when we all stand together in the presence of our King.
What a mighty God we serve. No matter the circumstance, let Him lavish His love upon you.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
While there will be a lot of grieving in the weeks and months ahead for those who knew and treasured David, I can also sense a lot of positive reflection on the time spent with him. The kid was ridiculous in more ways than one, but he had a personality that could light up any room. You had a bad day, and you better believe that in one way or another, David would be there to make you smile. While short-lived, he made it count. I will be forever grateful for who he was, because he made the choice to live. David reminds me still of how important it is to really and truly live with everything you have.
In reflecting on his passing, I find how grateful I am for the people God has surrounded me with. It is in these times that God so gently and sweetly reminds you of His goodness and faithfulness when everything around you seems so bleak. It is in moments such as these that He yearns to just wrap us so tightly in His arms and never let go...and it is this peace that I cling to in the time ahead. While I am sad to see David go, I know exactly where he is, and that is so reassuring. There have been many smiles in the past few days while reflecting and reminiscing, and these are the moments I will cherish.
The God of peace is ever present. No matter what the circumstance. Life doesn't always make sense, but I rest knowing that I am in the hand of someone who sees my every need and hears my every cry. It is in these times I feel Him drawing me closer.
Your Heavenly Father hurts with you and for you. How comforting to know that we do not walk this journey alone. How comforting to know that God surrounds us with tangible extensions of His hands and feet. I have seen the love of Christ poured out so graciously in so many of those I have spoken with in the past few days. What a blessing.
There is hope. Hope for the future. Evangel's campus pastor noted that David knew he was a citizen of heaven and a resident here on earth. I cannot wait until that day when we all stand together in the presence of our King.
What a mighty God we serve. No matter the circumstance, let Him lavish His love upon you.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Waiting
Anxiousness. Anticipation. Monotony. These are all words that have encompassed my vocabulary for the past couple of months. My to-do list for work is a mile high, but before I'm going to be able to be 100% productive (as I most definitely need to be), there's a ramble that's been building up in me for quite some time.
I feel like I am in one of the most awkward transition stages of my life. I get up, go to work, come home, do random things, and go to bed. I wake up the next day and do it all over again. Granted, my weekends are usually never spent at home, but I have felt such a sense of routine that it's making me a little stir-crazy. (Warning: transparent blog post ahead that will probably have no rhyme or reason.)
I am spontaneous and an adventurer at heart. I have always loved being outdoors, traveling, and meeting new people. I appreciate structure but love the freedom to go wherever my heart desires and at any given time (something that being single helps with).
I want more.
Being back in Wichita has been great for many reasons. I have loved being able to spend some good time with my family, re-connecting with old friends and making new, and being able to save up some money as I'm trying to pay off school.
However, I can't help but dream about the future. God has made me the way I am for a reason and being a dreamer has always been a part of that equation. For those of you who don't know, my heart's dream for awhile has been to travel and do conferences (specifically geared towards women) and continue being involved with inner-city in some shape or form. Lately, it's all I've thought about. I cannot wait to see how God grows and develops this (and completely changes it from anything I've ever imagined). At work we have been reading a book called "The Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson, and it speaks of circling your dreams and God's will for your life in prayer. (There's a lot more to it, but that's a post for another day). In this, I have been reminded of not only the power but the absolute necessity in a continuous and intentional prayer life. I have been reminded that God is not afraid of my dreams...He's given me bold ones for a reason.
While being in Wichita, God has challenged me more and more to consistently and fervently seek after Him with all that I have and all that I am. Every time I really seek Him, it's amazing how life just seems to fall into place in ways that I never even imagined. It's funny, God generally shows me what I needed in that moment before I ever knew what I needed. So here I am...waiting on the Lord as I continue to dream about the future. The next few months will be exciting in that I get to be even more involved in our youth group as we transition out of having our current youth pastor. As our current pastors move on to God's next chapter for them, I am excited to be a part of investing and helping to develop these teenagers lives.
However I am also reminded (even more so after reading my friend Sarah's blog) that I am not waiting for my life to start even though I feel like I am in a rut of epic proportions. To be honest, being single hasn't even been something that I've dwelt on in this waiting phase. Oh sure it comes up from time to time, but I am joyful that God is growing and developing me as a young, single woman. I am loving it. The waiting I speak of this time is in what lies ahead...the dreams God has so heavily placed in my heart. But I am reminded that God has me where I am for a reason. People keep telling me to not let myself get too comfortable, and believe you me, I feel anything but comfortable. I just feel flat out anxious. But God keeps gently (so glad He's patient) reminding me that He is teaching me, equipping me, and chipping away at so much that I'd never really let Him take care of before. The dreams I have are God-sized, and only He can can make them what they are meant to be. As this time in my life is a hard one, I know that it will be a time I look back on and see so much growth. I know that God's hand is ever present, and I want nothing less than to seek Him and His desires for my life both present and future. His joy and peace are what I yearn for. He is all I want and need.
In a previous posting (though I can't remember which one for the life of me), I mentioned feeling as though God was preparing me for spiritual boot camp. Well, glad God likes to give a heads up because it has been an intense few months. However, I hold on to the promises not only for the future but for today. I don't know how God will take my life, but I know He wants to teach me something today...He wants to use me now and not just in five to ten years.
As I continue to wait upon the Lord, I pray for a renewed sense of peace as I trust that He is orchestrating something far greater than I could have ever imagined.
That is a long enough ramble for now. Thanks for letting me spew random thoughts in any given direction.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
I feel like I am in one of the most awkward transition stages of my life. I get up, go to work, come home, do random things, and go to bed. I wake up the next day and do it all over again. Granted, my weekends are usually never spent at home, but I have felt such a sense of routine that it's making me a little stir-crazy. (Warning: transparent blog post ahead that will probably have no rhyme or reason.)
I am spontaneous and an adventurer at heart. I have always loved being outdoors, traveling, and meeting new people. I appreciate structure but love the freedom to go wherever my heart desires and at any given time (something that being single helps with).
I want more.
Being back in Wichita has been great for many reasons. I have loved being able to spend some good time with my family, re-connecting with old friends and making new, and being able to save up some money as I'm trying to pay off school.
However, I can't help but dream about the future. God has made me the way I am for a reason and being a dreamer has always been a part of that equation. For those of you who don't know, my heart's dream for awhile has been to travel and do conferences (specifically geared towards women) and continue being involved with inner-city in some shape or form. Lately, it's all I've thought about. I cannot wait to see how God grows and develops this (and completely changes it from anything I've ever imagined). At work we have been reading a book called "The Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson, and it speaks of circling your dreams and God's will for your life in prayer. (There's a lot more to it, but that's a post for another day). In this, I have been reminded of not only the power but the absolute necessity in a continuous and intentional prayer life. I have been reminded that God is not afraid of my dreams...He's given me bold ones for a reason.
While being in Wichita, God has challenged me more and more to consistently and fervently seek after Him with all that I have and all that I am. Every time I really seek Him, it's amazing how life just seems to fall into place in ways that I never even imagined. It's funny, God generally shows me what I needed in that moment before I ever knew what I needed. So here I am...waiting on the Lord as I continue to dream about the future. The next few months will be exciting in that I get to be even more involved in our youth group as we transition out of having our current youth pastor. As our current pastors move on to God's next chapter for them, I am excited to be a part of investing and helping to develop these teenagers lives.
However I am also reminded (even more so after reading my friend Sarah's blog) that I am not waiting for my life to start even though I feel like I am in a rut of epic proportions. To be honest, being single hasn't even been something that I've dwelt on in this waiting phase. Oh sure it comes up from time to time, but I am joyful that God is growing and developing me as a young, single woman. I am loving it. The waiting I speak of this time is in what lies ahead...the dreams God has so heavily placed in my heart. But I am reminded that God has me where I am for a reason. People keep telling me to not let myself get too comfortable, and believe you me, I feel anything but comfortable. I just feel flat out anxious. But God keeps gently (so glad He's patient) reminding me that He is teaching me, equipping me, and chipping away at so much that I'd never really let Him take care of before. The dreams I have are God-sized, and only He can can make them what they are meant to be. As this time in my life is a hard one, I know that it will be a time I look back on and see so much growth. I know that God's hand is ever present, and I want nothing less than to seek Him and His desires for my life both present and future. His joy and peace are what I yearn for. He is all I want and need.
In a previous posting (though I can't remember which one for the life of me), I mentioned feeling as though God was preparing me for spiritual boot camp. Well, glad God likes to give a heads up because it has been an intense few months. However, I hold on to the promises not only for the future but for today. I don't know how God will take my life, but I know He wants to teach me something today...He wants to use me now and not just in five to ten years.
As I continue to wait upon the Lord, I pray for a renewed sense of peace as I trust that He is orchestrating something far greater than I could have ever imagined.
That is a long enough ramble for now. Thanks for letting me spew random thoughts in any given direction.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Remembering the Reason
I love this time of year. Absolutely love it. Christmas spirit makes me jolly beyond compare (yes, I am jolly), and I blast the same Christmas songs over and over again. My heart is filled with song as I see houses lit with beautiful lights, and I about go into over-excited fits when these houses are set to music. (I'm not kidding.) My favorite activity this time of year is to grab a good 'ol cup of Starbucks joe and hit the road to see what Wichita (or Springfield as was the case for four years) has to offer my eyes.
However, in the midst of all this, I have found myself unbelievably cranky. I find my attitude resembling that of my arch nemesis the Grinch, and I wonder what has caused me to slip into such a grumbly way of being. I have a lot to be thankful for: fantastic friends, a loving family, and a job in the midst of economic turmoil. So why am I so crabby? And then it hits me. In the midst of the commercialism (and don't get me wrong, I love lights, music, and the atmosphere just as much as anyone), I have forgotten why Christmas is even worth celebrating in the first place.
Christ has given me reason to have joy beyond the norm. I realize the incredible gift in one baby coming to this earth and remember the saving grace that was sent as the greatest gift to mankind. In this grace comes the beauty of redemption, and I am finding that redemption new everyday.
Ever since I walked across the stage at James River in May, God has been chiseling away at everything I was too busy to deal with. This has been one of the most incredible times of growth, and it is really and truly growth that is only just beginning. God has already shown himself to me in more ways than I could have ever imagined, and I cannot wait to see what else He has in store. This Christmas season, I really choose to believe in the gift of complete and total healing. God is preparing me for what I feel will resemble spiritual boot camp, but I am ready to face it head on. I am ready for Him to break every single chain.
Christ is the true light of the world, and His brilliance should (and does) excite me far more than any one light. I am humbled to think that He loved me enough to die in my place so that I could spend an eternity with Him. Christmas reminds me of that one true light and how its radiance is shining into the darkest and coldest places of my sometimes very Grinch-like heart. As we quickly leave the year 2011, I choose to let the light of Christ lead me on a very exciting journey ahead. I will remember the reason for the season and hold tightly to the promise that I have found in the love of my Savior.
As I gaze upon the decorations and eat to my heart's content (come on, it's holiday time. Who doesn't enjoy Christmas cookies??), I will remember that in one little baby, I have been completely set free. Instead of being caught up in the hustle and bustle and inevitable stress that comes with the holiday season, I will strive to see the redemption that came with the most perfect gift. Let God prepare your heart. He has something great in store for you.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
However, in the midst of all this, I have found myself unbelievably cranky. I find my attitude resembling that of my arch nemesis the Grinch, and I wonder what has caused me to slip into such a grumbly way of being. I have a lot to be thankful for: fantastic friends, a loving family, and a job in the midst of economic turmoil. So why am I so crabby? And then it hits me. In the midst of the commercialism (and don't get me wrong, I love lights, music, and the atmosphere just as much as anyone), I have forgotten why Christmas is even worth celebrating in the first place.
Christ has given me reason to have joy beyond the norm. I realize the incredible gift in one baby coming to this earth and remember the saving grace that was sent as the greatest gift to mankind. In this grace comes the beauty of redemption, and I am finding that redemption new everyday.
Ever since I walked across the stage at James River in May, God has been chiseling away at everything I was too busy to deal with. This has been one of the most incredible times of growth, and it is really and truly growth that is only just beginning. God has already shown himself to me in more ways than I could have ever imagined, and I cannot wait to see what else He has in store. This Christmas season, I really choose to believe in the gift of complete and total healing. God is preparing me for what I feel will resemble spiritual boot camp, but I am ready to face it head on. I am ready for Him to break every single chain.
Christ is the true light of the world, and His brilliance should (and does) excite me far more than any one light. I am humbled to think that He loved me enough to die in my place so that I could spend an eternity with Him. Christmas reminds me of that one true light and how its radiance is shining into the darkest and coldest places of my sometimes very Grinch-like heart. As we quickly leave the year 2011, I choose to let the light of Christ lead me on a very exciting journey ahead. I will remember the reason for the season and hold tightly to the promise that I have found in the love of my Savior.
As I gaze upon the decorations and eat to my heart's content (come on, it's holiday time. Who doesn't enjoy Christmas cookies??), I will remember that in one little baby, I have been completely set free. Instead of being caught up in the hustle and bustle and inevitable stress that comes with the holiday season, I will strive to see the redemption that came with the most perfect gift. Let God prepare your heart. He has something great in store for you.
Love you guys.
In Him,
Em
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