A Tribute to Jim

As I've sat and thought over the last few days of what exactly I could say, I realized that words will never be adequate. Words will never take away the loss of a husband, father, grandfather, son, brother, and friend. However, I want to honor the man who has invested so much into my life over my last 23 years.

I have known the Majors' family as long as I can remember. I remember Pam and Jim attending my little brother's birthday parties and harassing my mother about being the size of the universe while being pregnant. I remember Jayson toting Alex and I to the zoo or McDonalds or letting me "drive" his truck. I remember the night Jim got saved and how Pam's years of praying had helped bring on a changed man. I remember Jim spending countless hours in our home fixing whatever needed to be taken care of. I remember the orneriness of Jim and his boys, but I also remember how unconditionally Jim loved. I remember him as just being a good man.

I remember the last time I gave Jim a hug and how tightly he squeezed me. I remember how much he loved his grand kids. I remember.

Jim left a legacy, and I for one am quite honored I had the chance to know him as long as I did. I know the loss I feel is only a fraction of the loss the Majors' family feels right now. As the days and weeks plow on, I pray that peace will just overwhelm their hearts and souls.

I am thankful I got to learn from him. I am thankful he is in heaven and will be waiting with great anticipation for when the rest of his family arrives.

So Jim, thanks for being you. It impacted this young life more than you'll ever know.

Reminiscing

Writing has always been extremely therapeutic for me, and this blog has been a wonderful place to work through the many thoughts of this crazy woman.

The past few weeks have been filled with constant nostalgia (including listening to old Backstreet Boys...Lord, help me!) and reminiscing about my Evangel days and the many wonderful friends I have had the opportunity to get to know in the two years since graduation. It has also been filled with thoughts of the upcoming transition barreling my way in roughly 25 days.

Let me just tell ya, it can be a little overwhelming!

I have always said I have the best friends in the whole wide world, and I sincerely believe it. God has richly blessed me in that department, and I am eternally grateful.

For the most part, the friends closest to my particular phase of life live in far off locations. Sometimes, it flat wears on this girl's heart. Don't get me wrong, I have some wonderful people right here at home, and I am so  thankful for that. It's just such a treat to pick up the phone and chat with someone who completely understands right where I am at and exactly how I am feeling.

On top of it, I leave the good 'ol District Office at the end of this month to embark on a whole new chapter known as graduate school. I often ponder my own insanity at my utter excitement and joy about starting school again, but I know it's where God is calling me. However, I also face mixed emotions as I prepare to leave the office that has been a second home for me the past two years. I met one of my dearest friends at that office and have gained so many more wonderful friends through working there. On top of it, I gained about four moms who have not only made sure to harass me but also invested in me and my future. In looking back, I have really seen the impact they made on my life. I won't ever forget that. They have helped make me the person I am today.

I know each season serves its purpose, and I have definitely seen the fruits of the past two years. I have grown, I have changed, I have been strengthened. I know this next season will bring so many more unanticipated times of growth and excitement. I'll graduate the same time as two of my dear friends, and it is exciting to have people on this particular journey with me. (I actually get to graduate WITH one of them! Holla!) And who knows where life will lead me after next June. It's been one exciting ride, and I can't wait to see what is next on this crazy adventure God is taking me on.

So tonight as I sit at this computer, I think back on times spent with some of the best friends in the world. I think back on an office that has truly shaped and prepared me for ministry in ways I never dreamed or imagined. I also look ahead to the next step and the great adventure it is sure to be.

I sure am thankful for a God who walks every road.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him." - Psalm 28:7

Thanks for letting me ramble.

Until next time,
Em

A New Journey

Well folks, it is official. I am now a grad student at good 'ol Regent University. WEIRD! (Hopefully no one from the university will see my use of the fake word "ol.") I received my official phone call last Thursday and my letter via email today. I even sent them my non-refundable deposit! It seems a little surreal after all the time I have spent thinking about it. However, August 2013 starts a whole new adventure for me, and this is one I am really stinking excited about.

With the start of graduate school, my time at the District Office will officially come to a close. (I'm sure I will post more on that as the time approaches.) When I leave at the end of July, I will have been here for almost two years. My time here has taught me a lot, and I have made several life-long connections and friends. For this, I am forever thankful.

I have felt nothing but love and support since I first started on this new journey of pursuing a Master's Degree. From the GRE to my admissions interview, I have been encouraged and uplifted even in moments of nervousness and doubt. I know this is what God is calling me to, and I eagerly anticipate seeing how it will unfold in future steps. For now, I am just enjoying the unexpected ride.

As I am filled with such excitement and anticipation, I am also carrying a heavy heart. These past few months have seemed to carry with them a lot of tragedy. As I have watched one of my dearest friends these past few weeks begin to sort out what will be her new normal, I am reminded that everyone walks a different path and has a different journey. Some of our journeys, however, aren't of our own choosing. Over these past few weeks, I have often found myself asking God, "Why? Why God? Why do these things happen?"

Man, am I thankful I serve a God who can handle all my questions.

Even though I don't understand why everything happens, I do know that I serve a God who is bigger than any hardship and any road less traveled. I know He walks side-by-side with each one of His kids and takes their hands to guide them on.

And this very promise offers me hope.

If I have learned anything over my last 23 years of life, God is much more about the journey than He is the destination. Thank goodness He walks every last possible journey with us - even the ones that make absolutely no sense.

So, I walk into the next few months extremely excited and extremely aware of the ever present necessity of a God who walks every road.

I pray that no matter your journey, you will feel the God of peace take every last step with you.

Thanks for letting me ramble.

In Him,
Em

James

No, the title of my blog is not some ominous way of telling you all about the special man in my life. This James, however, has completely changed and challenged everything about how I do life. This James lived in a very different time. This James died for that which he so strongly believed in.

This James was Jesus' brother.

It is well past my bedtime, but I have just completed the homework for Beth Moore's study on the book of James. I am bursting. The study is called "Mercy Triumphs," and I not only encourage, but I implore you to get your hands on this study and dig into the convicting and irreplaceable truths. Over the past seven weeks, God has done a great amount of surgery on me. As grotesque as that may sound, I can think of no other way to phrase it.

But this "surgery" has done a complete lift on my spiritual life, and it is one I could not be any more thankful for.

As I learned about the man James and read his very convicting epistle, there were a few things that stood out to me:

1) It wasn't until James stood at the empty tomb of Jesus that James realized that his half-brother was really who he said he was all along - the savior of the world. In one of the passages we read in Acts, it almost seemed as though James and the other siblings of Jesus mocked him. However, when James discovered the saving grace in the man he called brother, he took a hold of that truth and ran with it with all his might.

2) He knows how to tell it like it is. All of my closest friends are extremely blunt, and I love it. As I poured over the book of James, I found myself being reminded of so many practical yet imperative principles that were told in a very straight-forward manner. Do I watch my tongue? Do I let praise and cursing come out of my mouth? Do I believe that Jesus is who He says He is? Do I ask for the wisdom that can only come from God? Do I show favoritism? Do I extend the love of Christ to the orphan and the widow, to the homeless and the poor? Do I forget about my own will and surrender to the will of the one who knows best? Do I consider the source of my frustration? Do I consider it pure joy when I face trails of many kinds? The answer to all of these questions and so many more that James stirred within me is no, I don't always. However, you better believe I am making a conscious effort to try with all of my might. From the very begining of this study, Beth Moore challenged us to not just be "touched" by this series but to truly be "changed."

3) James lived out his faith. Over and over again, I was reminded that my faith without works is dead. I still hold to the standard that no work I could ever do will save me. I am saved by the grace of God alone. However, how could I have this life-changing experience and not want to walk it out? How could I not want to be the hands and feet of Jesus to a lost and dying world around me? James lived his life in the hot spot. Jerusalem was not a very friendly place to the Christian movement of the early church, but James knew his mission was to tell that Jewish community about Christ and the saving work He did on that cross. James eventually died for that cause. Do I have the kind of faith that James had?

This series is only just beginning to seep into the pores of my spiritual skin. However, I am reminded yet again that those words were not just written on a page 2,000 + years ago; they are living and active today. As I did this study, I almost felt like James was speaking right to me. I am so thankful that man penned those words.

I don't know if there is more to this post than just pure reflection. Let's face it though, if I would have tried to hand write it all in my journal, my hand may have fallen off due to cramping so thanks for letting me take up some space on the inter web.

I have also been challenged to really invite God into my Bible reading times. I know that may sound dumb, but I have found it so easy to get caught in the trap of routine. I wake up, read my four chapters, eat my cereal, and go to work. But do I really let myself be changed by what those words say?

As much as I truly appreciate Beth Moore and all she does and teaches, she is not with me every time I open the Word. However, the Holy Spirit is. As I delve into the words that so deeply apply to my life today, I want to be continually changed. I want to have the wisdom from above to receive what God wants me to learn. I don't want to just read black ink on a page; I want to be transformed by the writing God is continually etching on my heart.

This may officially be the most random (and not completely grammatically accurate) post I have ever written. However, I just had to write out these reflections. If nothing else, I challenge you to ask God to give you fresh eyes to read His word. I have read the book of James countless times. However, I have never had it hit me over the head in such a way as it did these last seven weeks. That is the cool thing about God and His word; there will always be something more we can get out of it.

Thanks for letting me ramble!

Love you guys.

In Him,
Em

Overcome

It has been one jam-packed month that has consisted of the following: study time, gym, more study time, work, friends, family, church, youth functions, sleep, more study time, more gym time, etc...you get the gist.

I'm two weeks out from taking this oh so exciting GRE, and with 20 hours of study time already under my belt, I'm starting to feel a little more prepared. If you would've told me two years ago that I would be dedicating every spare moment (let alone well over 20 hours) to studying for a grad school entrance exam, I would've laughed in your face. Hard. Oh the irony of how God works.

God knows that I'm a words of affirmation person. (Let's just be honest, I think I have all five love languages all the time.) Of course He knows, He is the one who created me. In creating me this way, God has also seen fit to surround me with lots of encouraging friends, especially as I've decided to continue my journey into education. I can't even begin to count the amount of times I've heard statements like, "You're going to rock this test," or "You're extremely smart. Of course you're going to blow this thing out of the water." Every time I hear this, I can almost picture myself having a Rocky Balboa moment. I can now enter the GRE boxing ring of life and happily give it a nice little KO. (I sure hope I got that boxing analogy right. If not, hopefully you get the point.)

However, even though the words surrounding me (and oh so wonderful gifts like Starbucks gift cards) are phenomenal encouragements, the greatest motivational tool I have in all this is the good 'ol Bible. Ever since I was a little kid, Philippians 4:13 has been something I could recite like my ABCs: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." What a simple yet incredibly profound statement, especially in this particular season of life.

In leading worship for the kids, God has prompted me on several occasions to remind them that our great God can help overcome any obstacle, mountain, or hurdle. It's something I've often had to remind myself of and something I hope sticks with them as they journey on through middle school, high school, college, and the adult world. My current mountain isn't life-threatening or dangerous, but it definitely has the element of uncertainty.

My current mountain is this test. I hate tests. With every fiber of my ever-loving being. I haven't thought about quadratic formulas or Pythagorean theorems for well over six years. However, I know that God has called me to this. He wants me in grad school. He wants me to pursue a Master's of Arts in Human Services Counseling, and I know He will give me the strength I need to pass this particular test with all the flying colors I will need.

So I encourage you. Your mountain may look really scary. Your hurdle may seem insurmountable. But God can and will give you the strength you need to overcome. Tests come in many different forms and are often much more daunting than this one currently facing me. However, I fully believe that God continually gives us the tools and encouragement we need to pass whatever tests come our way with flying colors.

God's always for you. Who can be against?

Thanks for letting me ramble.

Until after the GRE,
Em

The Tides are Turning

We are only six short days away from my favorite holiday....CHRISTMAS!! My Spotify playlist has been running through some of my favorite artists every day while I sit at work. Let me just tell you, sorting mail becomes so much more enjoyable whilst listening to Christmas songs.

The transition into this season is always one of my favorites. There are lights to see, Christmas cookies to decorate and eat, gingerbread houses to make, presents to wrap, and most importantly, this is a time to celebrate the birth of the Savior of the world.

I've mentioned before that I've felt God stirring another transition in my own heart since June. I just haven't been quite sure what this transition may look like until recently. Last week, I had the wonderful opportunity to catch up with a fantastic friend who is a grad student at Regent University in Virginia. As we caught up on the past several months of life, she again (this is not the first time she has made such a suggestion) mentioned that I should consider getting a Master's in some sort of counseling field. Up until a year ago, I had always been completely ANTI grad school. That's another thing I can add to the list of things I am now doing that I told God I would NEVER do. Man, what a sense of humor that guy has. Anyway, as she talked about the possibility, I got really excited about the idea.

You see, I've been telling God for the last several months that when He wanted me to transition, He was going to have a put a big 'ol neon flashing sign in front of my face. I had no idea what He wanted me to do next, and I was just holding to the dream He has given me to travel and speak to women all over everywhere. However, throughout the past several months, I have felt God tell me that whatever I do next will further prepare me for the ministry He has called me to.

What better way to become more equipped than heading back to school.

I have always had a heart for counseling. In being a pastor, I kind of feel like it comes with the territory. However, I in no way feel prepared to "counsel" someone if they came to me with an extremely serious life situation. So, the more I've thought and prayed about it, getting a Master's feels like my neon flashing sign. In light of the recent tragedy in Connecticut, I've realized how desperate our hurting world is for the love of Jesus. Coupling my love of people with a background in counseling feels like the right move to better aid the lost and hurting world around me. I want nothing more than to be as effective as possible, and I really feel like this next step will open up a whole new world to me.

So, I'm doing it. I'm going back to school. I've requested information, and I am beginning the ever tedious search for which program seems like the best fit for what I ultimately want to do (whether online or at an actual campus). I've got a pretty good idea of the one that sounds absolutely fantastic, but I know that may change as the process continues.

It's amazing to me how God works, and I'm really excited for this next step. Who knew? I'm actually excited to go back to school.

Thanks for letting me ramble!

I'll keep you posted on the process as it goes along!

Love you guys.

In Him,
Em

Falling into Change

Now that I am no longer a student, fall has become one of my favorite times of year. I love watching the leaves change colors, and the humidity drops significantly making Emily's curly mop of hair very happy. With the start of fall, I also know that my beloved Christmas is fast-approaching. I could literally listen to Christmas music all year, but I fear for my life seeing as my family doesn't really enjoy my obsession with the yule-tide carols. However, I am getting ahead of myself. It's still only October.

The different seasons have always triggered a sense of change. As it gets colder, we don scarves, boots, and hats to keep our little bodies nice and warm. For those of you who know me well, my favorite apparel in the fall and winter months is a sweatshirt with some oh so trendy sweat pants. I know, I know, I'm a trend-setter extraordinaire. For many people, change can be rather intimidating and scary. Being the crazy dare-devil that I am, change has always excited me.

As I look around my immediate world, I see change all around me. In the past several months, I've had friends move, friends get married, friends get pregnant, have babies, etc. You get the picture. Change is everywhere. The one change that I get asked about the most is when I'm going to change my last name. I, of course, just smile and grin assuring the concerned parties that when the Lord is ready to bring Mr. Right into my life, I am ready. However, until that time, my 23-year-old (and not 203) self will enjoy the wonderful season known as being single. The one change I have been dying for more than anything is a change of scenery.

I have been back in Wichita for well over a year, and let me just tell you, it has been a wonderful time. I have made so many new friends and gotten reacquainted with so many old. I know that God placed me here for a very specific time and purpose. Looking back, I've loved every minute of it. However, the fast-paced girl within me is ready for a change.

As I've pondered what change really means, I am brought back to the book I am reading right now for my Bible study: Lioness Arising. Being the future-oriented person I am, I have always struggled with living in my present (I have discussed this before in previous postings), because I am ready for the exciting changes that I know will come in the next several years. However, God has given me a new challenge for the here and now: be the change you wish to be in the world around you and in what you see. In Lioness Arising, Lisa Bevere talks about being on the hunt for the lost and hurting in our immediate and darkened world. The more I've allowed God to open my eyes, the more I see how much hurt I am surrounded by living in mid-western Wichita, Kansas. In a much more eloquent way than I am about to write, Lisa talks about looking not only to heaven but looking around at our immediate world. She talks about ways we can help restore what has been demolished while looking ahead to the glorious hope we are promised in living Christian lives. In doing this, we also need to instill the truth of who God is and what He says.

And it hits me. Emily, change is waiting all around you. It's time for you take part.

I get the privilege (yes, privilege) of working with teenagers on a very regular basis. In working with them, God has given me a platform to begin doing work in women's ministries. Do I really see these girls who walk in the door of our youth room? Do I really try to be actively involved in the change God wants to bring in their lives? Are my eyes opened to the present calling God has given me?

In the past few months, I can happily say the answer to all those questions is a resounding yes. I am excited to be a part of the change God wishes to see happen in my here and now.

So, what is my point?

No matter what exciting things are in the future, be the change that the world around you so desperately needs right now. Open your eyes to the opportunities God is placing and has placed all around you. Be the change you wish to be in the world around you and in what you see.

I've also successfully completed all seven seasons of Boy Meets World in the past two-and-a-half weeks, so in the words of my beloved Mr. Feeny, "Do good."

Thanks for letting me ramble.

Love you guys.

In Him,
Em