Happily Ever After

During a discussion with my young adult group on relationships, my mind started whirring with millions of little thoughts. Because writing has always been therapeutic for me, I thought I’d jot (or type) some of the down.

Like most other girls, I am completely enthralled by a good love story. Set me with up with The Notebook, a box of Kleenex, and some chocolate, and we have the makings of an exceptionally awesome Friday night. Anyone who knows me even moderately well would also know that I am HIGHLY addicted to a current TV series called Once Upon a Time. I have been intrigued with Disney princesses since an early age, and I love watching them each get their happily ever after. My favorite growing up was Ariel, and much to my delight, her story-line is now incorporated into this fairytale world. What’s my point?

Hollywood has disillusioned us to reality.

Do I believe in love? Yes. Do I believe that couples can have happy endings? Yes. Do I believe it’s all magic and roses? No.

The one aspect of Once Upon a Time that I have always loved is that the characters have to fight for their happy ending. Unlike most representations of fairytale love stories, it isn’t just handed to them on a silver platter. While there are several unrealistic qualities (like the whole show in general – don’t hate, it’s awesome), I have always appreciated the writers’ need to incorporate some sense of real life.

In our young adult discussion, the principle of infatuation was brought up. As with seemingly every Hollywood story, this is the basis of what our society deems as a good romance. The characters meet, fall head over heels, and in the case of my beloved Ariel and Eric, are married within days. This may also contribute to the lack of successful marriages we seem to be witnessing. What is meant to be a beautiful and holy union has been turned into a circus act. If it isn’t convenient or appealing within a few months (the infatuation has left), let’s just call it quits and find something else that tickles our fancy.

What are we teaching the younger generation?

Like many others, I have been ensnared by the false reality of what my fairytale would look like. I envisioned my knight in shining armor coming in the room, our eyes meeting, and instantaneously knowing that this was the man of my dreams. We spend so much of our lives looking for these fleeting feelings that we forget what a beautiful romance is founded on: God.

In Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, we are given many descriptions of what love is. To name a few, love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not self-seeking, it does not delight in wrong, etc. Nowhere in there does Paul say love is built on fleeting feelings and emotional highs that last only a short time. Love is built on a solid foundation of mutual respect and a deep and unbelievable awareness of the need for God. It always troubles me when couples are engaged within months because I wonder if the fleeting feelings have been given a chance to make way for a solid friendship and partnership. So often we see that Hollywood’s kind of love is anything but patient, kind, not proud, not self-seeking, not boastful, and not delighting in other’s wrongs; Hollywood’s version seems to be just the opposite.

In my very limited experience, I have seen many couples experience a lot of hardship after the euphoria has gone away. The couples that have lasted seemed to have a relationship built not on emotions and impulsive feelings but on respect, partnership, and a grounding in God. Sometimes I think we get so caught up in enjoying the moment that we forget to include God in the decision. In watching our short video at group the other night, the speaker reminded us that next to accepting Christ, picking who you are going to marry is the most important decision. I don’t know about you other single people, but I want a love built on something that’s going to last.

Do I think I know it all? Absolutely not. I am nowhere close to having this “love” thing figured out. However, I am trying to learn all I can so as to not let myself be swept up in fantasy world that doesn’t exist.

Will I continue to watch sappy love stories? You better believe it. I still get lots of entertainment out of them. But, that is just what their purpose should be. Entertainment. As much as I love me some Prince Eric and Ariel, I am going to base my relationship on the stuff that will last.

Am I making an announcement? No, I’m sure not. I am not dating anyone, and I am perfectly happy with that. Singleness is certainly far from a curse, and I am enjoying every blessing that comes with this season. But, whenever God deems fit, I will be reminding myself of a forever love that surpasses any and all Hollywood imagination.

Thanks for letting me ramble!

In Him,
Em