Evangel University - Chapter 4

This is it. I have returned to Evangel University for my Senior year in college. I cannot believe I have already been through three years in college. Where did the time go?? This was my final move into the dorms. For the last time, I hiked the flights of good 'ol Lewis hall with all my stuff that I have accumulated over the years.

I have returned the wonderful people and familiar faces I have grown so accustomed to. It's amazing how quickly things go right back to normal. It really does not feel like I haven't seen these people in four months. I guess that's when the Lord reminds me just how blessed I am to have some pretty stinking incredible friends.

Thoughts of Memphis and my kiddos still flood my head and my heart. I chose 65 pictures that I need to edit and print to stick on my walls. The ringworm I had has left a nice little scar on the top of my shoulder as a reminder of all that I learned this summer. I still see their smiles and hear their laughter and feel beyond blessed that God gave me this amazing opportunity to go outside of myself.

Yesterday I got a very wonderful opportunity to hang out with one of my dearest friends, Miss Laurisha Cotton. As we were catching up on life, we were discussing the arrangements of how we would see each other once graduation happened. It's in the near future, and that is something that is kind of completely scary. I got to have a Starbucks study date with Miss Amy Scott this afternoon and realized how much I treasure my time with each of these wonderful people.

I know everyone feels this way, but I am pretty stinking convinced taht I have the best friends in the entire world. God has seriously blessed me with such a great support network and not even all of them are in Springfield.

My futuristic tendency is to think about everything in the future like all the time, and I'm going to have to FORCE myself to not want to do that. This time is to be treasured, and I know I will never have another opportunity like this. I feel very thankful that I get this time to spend with some of the most wonderful people I have ever met.

With visions of Memphis driving me forward, I find motivation in knowing that I have truly found my purpose in life. My purpose is to love my heavenly Father with all that I have and to live my life accordingly. I know his hand is on my life, and I cannot wait to see where he takes me after this chapter closes. Until then, I'm gonna be living it up here on good 'ol Evangel University's campus!

Love you guys,
Em

The Beginning of Change

I wish I had enough words to describe what the past 2 1/2 months have meant to me. I wish I had enough pictures to capture the essence of the kids that I was so privelaged to work with every Monday thru Friday. I wish that I could hold each and every one of them every day of my life.

Everywhere I look, I see faces. Theirs. I see their smiles and hear their laughter and the excited screams when they see me at Bible Club site. And I find myself completely and utterly torn. The Lord always has a plan for everything, and in that I find complete peace and hope. However, it doesn't really change the longing I feel in my heart. My continual prayer was that the Lord would break my heart for what broke His. I sought to be His vessel, broken and poured out. I knew that it was on His strength that I was going to have the courage to do that which He asked of me this summer. And here I am. Completely and totally broken. My summer complete and my life completely transformed.

I have never felt more confident of my calling than I do now. I belong in the inner-city. The United States needs missionaries as well, and the Lord has called me to be one. One of the coolest experiences just happened to fall on my birthday. I turned 21 while in Memphis, and I wasn't quite sure just how exciting this birthday would be. However, the Lord never ceases to amaze. As we stood at club site, all 50 of my kids were huddled around me. In one large chorus, they all broke out into happy birthday and proceeded to dogpile me. There's nothing quite like 50 kids swarming you to make sure that you know how much you mean to them on your special day. My kids who have nothing made sure that my day was special. One of my little boys came to me with a cupcake saying, "Miss Emily, my grandma and I want you to have this since it's your birthday." They thought of me. Little old me. Here I am thinking my job is to minister to them, but they showed me Christ's love in a way that I have never seen before. That is because they are genuine.

These kids don't just smile to smile. If they're gonna smile, they're gonna mean it. But when they do smile, it is one of the most beautiful things you will ever see. Their hearts are being opened up, and God is pouring His love through them. My kids called me mom. I'm barely 21 and in no way, shape, or form ready to be a mom. However, to them, I was that woman. One of my girls introduced me to all of her friends as her momma. It opened my eyes. They wanted me to be that figure in their life more than anything and leaving them was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. Some told me they'd come find me in Kansas. Others begged me not to go. And it's those faces that I walk away with. It's the tears on their cheeks as I hugged them and promised them that I would never forget about them. I don't believe in goodbyes; I believe in see you laters. That is exactly what I told all of them.

I know none of it was me. It had nothing to do with me. I'm one person in this gigantic world. But God so blessed me with an opportunity to pour out His love on His children. And in return, they poured out His love on me. I just can't believe God let me be the one to get to do this. I am so humbled by this amazing opportunity and all that I am still learning from it. This time is a serious time of reflection, and I am already starting to see the change the Lord has began. My life is not about me. My life is about Him and them. I will be His hands and feet wherever He sends me. The cool thing about our God is that you know He still hears their cries. He hears them, He sees them, and He loves them so much more than I ever could. It was hard to leave but I know that they are in the Father's hands. It doesn't matter where I go, they will always be with me. They go with me in my heart and my thoughts. I think about them so much and realize that it was in their eyes that I saw love. My heart is broken for the poor and the oppressed and the needy. I will follow you Lord, into the world.

As more time goes on, I'm sure I will find more words to say. But here it is. Raw emotion with raw reflection. I am one person seeking to find my place in this world. Through Memphis, I feel one step closer. I am forever grateful for the kids I got to minister to and the friendships that I have made. That was another neat thing about Street Reach. I was surrounded with the same group of 18 people who were there for the exact thing I was. We were there to serve our Jesus. I am thankful for the ties I have made and cannot wait to see each of them again.

There is a song I challenge each of you to listen to. It's called Keep Changing the World by Mikeschair. It has revolutionized my world. I hope it can do the same for you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAtal8ZV6eo

For now, that is my rambling.

I love you guys,
Em

Braided Hair and Farmer's Tans

I'm sitting here in Memphis, TN before I go back to good 'ol Kansas for the wedding of my dear friend, Kayla. I can't believe that I've been here for almost a month. It is flying out the window, and I am loving absolutely every minute of it. I'm learning so much and growing so much. These kids are teaching me things on a daily basis.

I have had my hair braided by small children more times than I can count. I also have the most impeccable farmer's tan I have ever had in my entire life, and let me just tell ya, I'm pretty excited to strut it this weekend. :) I've truly learned the value of family and friends. These kids literally have nothing, and I have everything. It's humbling and totally puts things into perspective.

I've also learned how precious time is with these kids. Today I learned that some of my favorite kids might not be able to come back to club, and it completely broke my heart. We only get so much time to really be able to invest in these kids. It could be a matter of days. It could be a matter of minutes. The important thing is that we show them the love of Christ everyday through our actions. Time really is of the essence out here, and I want to reach these kids before the streets do.

Today in our Urban Discipleship, we discussed with our teams what we view as something beautiful in the city. For me, it's these kids' smiles, because you know it's genuine. When these kids really truly smile, it makes the hot and nasty days all completely worth it. To have a kid run full speed at you screaming, "Miss Emily, Miss Emily!!!" even though they've only known you for a few short weeks means more than I could ever imagine.

I know I was here to impact their lives. But in more ways than one, they're impacting mine.

We're in a spiritual battle for these kids, and I'm not letting go.

Living the dream in Memphis, Tennessee

Hey all!

Soon (when I don't forget my camera in the other building) I'll be uploading some pictures for you to all feast your eyes upon of some of the precious kids I get to work with everyday.

In a word, Street Reach is unbelievable. I wish that each and every one of you could come and be a part of the ministry that I am so privelaged to get to serve with. The staff here is incredible. We work hard, we're extremely busy, and we get gross. But, we're reaching the lives of hurt families all over this community.

It's an amazing feeling to see these kids charge at you when they've known you for only a day. They see the light of Jesus in you. Everyday. I get to show these kids the hope that I have, and let me just tell you, that is incredible.

There's one little boy who has completely touched my heart. His name is Jovannie, and he is precious. He's 4, and today was my last day with him for I have to move to another site last week to start my permanent work for the summer. When we first picked him up, he barely talked. By the end, he spent more time smiling than anything else. To see the work of the Lord in these kids' lives is just unbelievable. They come from situtaions that I can't even imagine. Some of these little girls have been raped since age 5. Age 5. I don't know about the rest of you, but pretty sure I was eating cheerios and playing with Barbies at age 5. It tears your heart to pieces to hear the stories from these kids. I wish that I could pull them all out of there and take them home with me, but I can't. What I can do is be His hands and His feet.

I came to the fast realization that my life is easy. I've always known this, and I've always gotten tired of people who complain about the little things. But these people literally have nothing and have more joy than half of the people I encounter everyday away from here. I challenge us all to just remember how blessed we are. Most of us have grown up with great families. Most of us have grown up never wondering when we were going to be clothed or fed. Most of us dreaded bath time instead of wishing that someone would take the time to remove the filth that covers their bodies. I've hugged on so many kids this week. And I've realized how much I never want to be stagnant in the life I lead. I want fire. I want passion. I seek change. Our generation needs to rise up. It's for Him and for them. We need to stop being selfish and realize there is a hurting world out there right outside our white picket fences. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being blessed. In fact, we should thank the Lord for it everyday. But why can't we be His hands and His feet? Why can't we be the change He longs to see?

We hear it's time to change the world. So how about we get up and do it.

Next time I will have stories and pictures, but for now, please just open your heart to see the world as the Lord sees it. As Brandon Heath says, Lord, just give us your eyes so we can see the hurt in our lost and dying world.

Isaiah 58:12
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Off to the Land of Tennessee...

The beginning to my summer has been one full of relaxing and good bonding time with my family. We've seen many family movies, eaten many family meals, and just laughed together as a family. It's been good to just have some time together. As I sit here, there are still boxes in my room needing to be unpacked. My life is thrown together in one large pile in the middle of my room. But knowing that soon I am about to leave again, I can't fully bring myself to unpack them all again. Packing and re-packing are two of the hardest things for me to do. It's not just because it takes time or I find it to be a major hassle. I find it difficult because it usually means that change is coming. I love adventure, I love new people, and I love new places. But, unfortunately, I have always been HORRIBLE with saying goodbye. However, I'm learning that each new box means a new opportunity for God to teach me something incredible. My next lesson takes place in good 'ol Memphis, TN....

I was never sure if this job was going to come. The interview process is one that had been going on for at least a month and a half. Up and down, in and out. I knew that if I didn't get this job, I was going to have no idea what I would do. But, like always, God came through. And let me tell you just how perfect this job is. I get to work with inner-city kids all summer long. Plus, I'll be in the land of Elvis. My grandfather would be extremely proud. :) I know that this summer has so much more in store for me than I can even begin to remotely phathom. I'm being thrown into a whole new part of the country with whole new people and whole new experiences. And let me just tell ya, I am EXCITED!! When you are praying, please just include Street Reach Ministries in your prayers. I know that the team and myself would greatly appreciate it.

In one week, I will be on the road...again. I got back from Springfield a little over a week ago, and here I go again! I don't know how often I'll be on the internet while I'm there, but I will update and talk about all of the amazing stories as much as I can! I have a feeling my ramblings are about to get just a little more passionate. :)

Until the land of country music and good 'ol Elvis Presley,
Em

Part 2 of My Massive Ramble...

I have done it. I have completed my Junior year of college. Where in the world has my college experience gone?? And by I, I definitely mean we. We being me and Jesus. There is no way I would have made it through those papers, tests, and projects without Him.

I could not be more thankful for the friends I have made this year. Pretty sure all-nighters have never been so enjoyable. I've had some pretty amazing late-night talks, homework sessions (or ones where we pretend we are doing homework), coffee dates, random drives, runs to the mall, and so much more. I know God has seriously blessed me with the people in my life.

I do not think I have quite processed all that has happened this year. I've done a lot of thinking back, but I haven't quite understood the full implications of what I learned this year. I guess that's part of the process that I'll always be in...learning.

Thank you Lord for an amazing year. I cannot wait to see what you have in store for next.

Until next time and the update on life here in the land of KS, much love to you all!

Part 1 of Massive Ramble...

This blog will probably be the most random piece of writing known to mankind. But, since this is the only time I will probably have to update between now and the end of school, here goes nothing...

Evangel life 2009-2010 has most definitely been a very interesting experience. I have loved basically every minute of this year with lots of life lessons that have come along the way. I have learned the beauty of real and sincere friendship, enjoyed late nights with some of the coolest people ever, and just found joy in the simple things.

It's really strange for me to think that most of the people in my life that I am close to right now I have only met this year, and most of them close to half-way through. It's kinda strange, yet unbelievably awesome, how God takes the people we never even had a clue who they were and brings them into our lives for such a time as this.

I can defintely say that I have learned a lot about myself this year and part of this being thanks to the good old world of Crosswalk. Evangel's student ministry board opened up so many new opportunities for me that I never even dreamed were possible. I met some amazing people and got to be a part of God laying down some awesome foundational work for the future. I cannot WAIT to see what next year will bring.

This year has definitely been a year of growth, as is every year. Friends have come, and friends have gone, but Jesus never fails. Jesus never changes. If I've learned anything it is that God has to be the source of all life. I love every last one of my friends, and I am so thankful for each and every one of them. But I know that it is from Him and through Him that I am even privelaged to know these people.

God is a good God. Life is too short to be spent on the sidelines, and I am realizing that more than ever. The Kingdom of God is now, and it's time for our generation to rise and be the people God has called them to be.

I better go to bed for now, but I will have more thoughts in a part 2. This year has taught me a lot, so I guess reflecting is just where I'm naturally to go from here!